Seismic Shift Chapter 32

She stepped into the innocence of another day

and whispered words of gratitude.

The morning sunshine breathed upon her skin

as she took steps with feet wrapped in fortitude.

All her yesterdays were sleeping

and tomorrow is standing on a promise,

so she inhaled the moment here and

now, savoring its purity, so flawless.

~ Michelle Schaper

The feeling of something small pushing into my leg, kneading my calf in an alternating motion, pulled me from sleep. I leaned up on my elbows to gaze at my legs, seeing my grey fluff ball happily kneading hard enough to make bread.

"Frank!" I exclaimed, swiftly reaching out to snatch him up. It was strange how he'd never been far from my thoughts, but still mostly on the back burner, since we left. He bumped and rubbed his head on my chin as I cuddled him. The Cullens took good care of him for me; I was even informed that Emmett enjoyed feeding him the most. He was determined to win Frank's affections.

Edward wasn't with me, and I found a note on the coffee table that said he was out hunting. Next to the note was a bathrobe, which I gratefully wrapped around myself. I made my way to the kitchen to search for coffee and cat food, setting Frank on the counter while I found mugs in the cabinet and a single cup brewer by the sink.

"Thank you, Alice."

I found the bag of kitten food in the pantry, and Frank's dish on the kitchen floor, so he ate while I did my own kind of hunting. I stood looking out the kitchen windows at the yard and forest beyond, holding a cup of coffee in one hand and nibbling on a Pop-Tart. It was a new day, and we couldn't spend any more time in our bubble. Now was the time for training, for working on a relationship with Charlie, and deciding what my immediate future was going to look like.

The Cullens had proven that they were behind my relationship with Edward one hundred percent, and I knew that I could stay here with him in our cottage in the woods forever. However, I couldn't forget that I had college courses and roommates waiting for me in Seattle. I wanted that life, but I wanted this life as well.

Edward found me staring out the window, completely zoned out. It wasn't until he touched me that I was brought back to reality.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" he asked, dropping kisses on the side of my head.

I leaned against him, and his arms went around me. "Life."

"Oh, so nothing significant?" he joked. I snorted.

"No, nothing of importance." I turned to face him, seeing that his eyes were a light shade of honey. "What are we doing today?"

"Renée was eager to work with you on shifting. Are you up for that?"

"I want to know how to keep the exhaustion from crippling me. I feel alive and free when I'm a wolf, and it's not a terrible change when I come back. I feel normal, I guess. So I don't know if it was because I was going from a tiny bird to a full-sized human, or if she always feels that way, or what."

"Do you want to stay in the yard, or do you need more room?" he asked.

"I don't know, honestly. We'll have to ask Renée. Is everyone else awake?" I hadn't even paid attention to the time.

"Yes. We can go the the house whenever you're ready."

I dressed warmly, and Edward offered me a ride on his back so we could get to the house faster. We entered through the back doors and found most of the Cullens in the living room. Some were reading, some were watching television. I followed Edward into the kitchen, where all four Clearwaters, plus Charlie and Renée, were eating. Someone had cooked, and they were finishing up what looked like pancakes.

"Good morning, Bella," Harry said, holding his arm out to me.

"Morning, Dad." I greeted him with a hug before sitting next to him at the table. "What are everybody's plans?"

"I need to finish my Christmas shopping," Sue answered. School was out for the holiday season, so she had free time.

"I'm going with Mom," Leah answered.

"I want to go with you, Bella," Seth declared. I nodded.

"I have to go over the budget for the meeting this afternoon, so I'll be at the reservation," Harry said in his deep voice.

"Renée?" I prompted.

She looked between me and Charlie. "I'd like to spend the day with you, if that's all right."

"It's definitely all right," I assured her. "Do you think we have enough room in the yard for any kind of shifting practice?"

She smiled. "I believe so. But as we mentioned in Brazil, we have to be undressed if we don't want to ruin our clothes."

"I almost feel like we should wait for summer to worry about this mess." I shuddered at the outdoor temperatures.

"You do not have issues with thermal regulation when you are in a shifted state, correct?" Edward inquired.

"That's a good point," I acknowledged. He stood near me and the table, which was at the opposite end from Charlie, who still had not spoken.

"Let's try the backyard first," Renée suggested, and we all agreed.

"Wait," Charlie barked. We all paused, seeming to move in slow motion as we sank back into our seats.

"Yes, dear?" Renée fretted.

"I want to go with Harry to the reservation." His expression was dark, the look in his eyes determined.

"Um, if you're going to confront dear old Grandpa, I want to be there."

Edward sucked in a breath and blew it out loudly. "Harry, are you all right with us coming to the reservation and starting a confrontation?"

Harry was very still for a solid two minutes. Seth coughed and fiddled with his cell phone, Leah got up and rinsed her plate before putting it in the dishwasher, and the rest of us just waited for Harry to make a decision.

"It's my opinion that Quil needs to hear what the both of you think. I don't believe it will cause any more of a disruption if you accompany them, Edward."

"It's settled, then," Charlie announced, standing and leaving the room. Renée was the one to clear his place at the table, causing Sue to raise her eyebrows at Harry. He merely shrugged, and I knew he wasn't going to touch that with a ten foot pole. Edward and I stood as well, and I gathered my coat again.

The ride to the reservation was incredibly awkward. Every attempt I made at conversation with Charlie was met with one word answers or Renée answering for him. Harry had driven separately, and Seth was with him since he wanted to tag along with me today.

"Charlie, do you have any memories of La Push?" I started.

"A few, but he wasn't allowed to come very often," Renée interjected before Charlie opened his mouth.

I gave her a side-eyed look as she answered for him. "Didn't you ever visit your aunt?"

"Sure, but Quil didn't feel comfortable having both women in his house, so normally Molly went to Helen's house."

I sighed, exasperated. "You know, Renée, I was hoping Charlie could speak for himself."

The rest of the car ride was completely and uncomfortably silent.

When we pulled up to the community center, Harry and Seth were getting out of their car, parked in the spot next to ours.

"I'll have to go get him," Harry informed us.

The rest of us headed inside the community center. I showed them around, but there wasn't really much to see. We ended up taking the chairs out of their stacks and sitting in the auditorium. If I thought the car ride was awkward, it was nothing compared to that torture. We stared at the walls because nobody wanted to break the silence. Well, I stared at Edward, because he's the best scenery, but still.

I jumped up when Harry returned, old Quil trailing behind him. He looked incredibly old, Quil did, and I wondered if it ever occurred to him to be sorry for what he did.

Charlie rocketed to his feet and got in the old man's face immediately. "So, Dad, what do you think about the fact that I came back? How do you feel knowing that you almost ruined everything for me and Mom? If it hadn't been for Renée, I would have been the same bastard that you always were."

Quil stared at him, emotionless.

"Not to mention how I've heard you treated my daughter. You had to know who she was, just look at her! She's the mirror image of Mom!"

"You abandoned her, never forget that," Quil finally spoke.

I could swear steam was coming out of Charlie's ears. "Not because I was a selfish asshole who cheated on my wife and had a child with someone I wasn't married to. Not because I couldn't handle being a dad and an upstanding citizen. Because the fucking Volturi were after us and wanted to murder her and take Renée away from me! I couldn't have withstood the loss, unlike you. I knew she was safe with friends, and I don't know if it was fate or karma that brought the idiots in this tribe out to find her, but at least it wasn't you that raised her the rest of the way. The Clearwaters gave her a chance at being a decent human being."

I didn't want to come back with what he said, but he really did cover almost everything.

"What I want to know is, why didn't you say something from the beginning? When they brought me from the forest, why didn't you speak up? Somebody here had to be old enough to know what Helen looked like. You can't be the only one." I kept my voice low and even, unwilling to give him the ire my father had shown.

"Billy knew, and he insisted I keep my mouth shut, or we'd be tossed off the council for what I did back then. He helped cover for me when I would visit Helen; he was my accomplice, so to speak," Quil admitted.

"He was a child! You used a child as your lookout? So you both knew about imprinting and still tried to keep me from Edward?" I accused, incredulous.

"It's wrong, the way imprinting makes you feel like you have no control over your own body. You make choices you wouldn't otherwise make because you aren't in control any longer. It isn't right," he insisted.

"You don't get to decide that for the rest of us!" I exploded, finally past my breaking point. "How is you making my decisions any better than what you say imprinting is like! I can't forgive you for any of this, not that you're sorry, apparently. You always treated me differently, you always watched my every move through the council and the other wolves as though everything I did was leading me down a path not chosen by you. The council has spent enough years with their overreaching rules and dictates, but no more. And I'm ecstatic that it was Edward that made that change happen. He and the Cullens made sure that my parents run this joint, under the command of the true Alpha, and not the one you falsely put in place."

The front doors opened, and the man himself walked in. "You can't have a party without me," Jake said mildly. "I heard you were here."

He hugged me and then greeted Seth and Edward before coming back to where I was standing in front of Quil, who seemed even more bent with age from all the accusations being thrown at him.

"He's banished anyway, don't stress about him. He's in the retirement home with the other dementia patients," Jake told us.

"I do not have dementia!" Quil shouted.

"Too bad, Gramps. You should have considered that more carefully when the Cullens came asking for changes that benefit the entire community, and you were still worried about covering your own ass," I seethed.

"My father is also pretty heavily restricted, Bella, though he promises he'll follow any rules I make and generally not be an asshole. Jared hasn't been heard from or seen, though the patrols are still on alert. Embry has healed from his injuries, and he's awaiting a council trial."

I leaned into him. "How are you and Leah? She's been very closed up about the whole thing."

"What's that?" I heard from my left. I turned to Quil.

"What is what?"

"You're marrying him? It's taken over your mind, hasn't it? You think you can't live without him, but you can!"

"Love does not claim possession, it gives freedom," Edward murmured.

"Lies! It'll ruin your life!" Quil screamed.

"All right, old timer, that's enough," Harry ordered. It took him and Jake to maneuver Quil back out of the room. Only Jake came back.

"Harry's taking him back to the home. Don't worry, his section is locked, and he has no means of getting out on his own," Jake assured us. I was familiar with the setup.

"Has it really come to that?" Seth asked.

"He deserves it," Charlie said, turning back to his wife and ignoring the rest of us.

"That could have gone better, but in the end, it's mostly what I expected," I told Edward, who stood behind me. He always had my back, whether it be literally or figuratively.

"What do you want to do now?" he said into my skin as he kissed my cheek.

"Honestly, I'd like to get my truck and bring it to your house. Assuming Renée still wants to practice shifting."

"That would be great," she agreed. Charlie was back to his stoic silence.

We shuffled around a little, but Edward drove Renée and Charlie back to his house while I retrieved my truck, and Seth rode with me. I love my truck; it was something that Harry had been holding onto, but Leah didn't want it, so he gave it to me. I loved the spearmint and motor oil scent that coated the leather seat. It was slow to get back, and a spate of rain didn't help matters, but it was a much more enjoyable ride having just Seth with me.

I felt like I needed a respite after the emotional ordeal of the morning, but I was too excited to get started with my practice. I wanted to know which animals I could change into, and if it was limitless.

It only took an hour for me to completely change my mind.

"This is bullshit!" I yelled, stomping my foot.

I couldn't do it. Every time I tried, I'd explode into a wolf. When I was in my human form, I was shivering in the damp cold. Seth stood to the side, closing his eyes and humming, and Charlie had stayed inside. It was my mother and my fiancé that helped me while I was naked. Edward suggested I wrap myself in a heavy blanket to test if it would stay intact and drift to the ground, or if it would rip. I was finally trying that out, but I couldn't make myself turn into anything different.

"Maybe you're mentally worn out, Bella," Renée offered.

"I agree," Edward said. "Maybe this should wait for another day."

"Or maybe I just suck at it, which would be fine. I have other talents, you know," I snarked, sending a clump of dirt smashing into the side of the pristine Cullen house.

"A wolf is an admirable foe, my love. Nobody would see you coming in all your lovely white fur and not be terrified."

I glared at Edward. "You aren't trying to patronize me, are you?"

"No, I would never." He did look horrified at the thought.

"Good. Don't blow smoke up my ass just to make me feel better."

"I am sorry, but, what?" He looked bewildered.

I laughed, and I felt some of the tension of the day release its grip from my shoulders. "It's an expression. I haven't got a clue how you would actually blow smoke up someone's ass, or what that has to do with telling them what they want to hear."

"Only the truth, love, I promise," he vowed.

"Focus on the animal, Bella, and nothing else. Shut out the ambient noises, the stray thoughts, and just visualize the animal you have chosen." Renée's recommendations helped, and I lasered in my focus to the animal in my mind.

I felt the shimmer, but it lacked the electricity I was accustomed to. I felt myself on all fours, so I opened my eyes, tilting my head to shift my focus from Edward's waist. My vision was sharp and had more depth than my human eyes were capable of, similar to my wolf form.

"That is disconcerting," Edward muttered as he backed away. "You make a stunning puma."

Can you hear my thoughts? I asked him.

I saw the flicker of surprise on his face. Yes. It is not only in your wolf form that I can hear you.

I worry that my shield abilities don't work in this form, I told him.

That is a possibility. "Bella wonders if her shielding abilities will work when she is in an alternate state," he spoke aloud for the benefit of the others.

"I don't know. I've never had to try it myself," Renée confessed.

"Damn, Bella, you look badass!" Seth hollered. He was such a good brother.

"I fear that your blood smells entirely too luscious in this form, my Bella. I must be careful with my breathing."

Oops. And I was going to run to see what it felt like.

Not the best idea, unless you wish to find out what happens when my hunting instinct kicks in. Running in this form should feel the same as the wolf, I imagine.

That was a good point. Tell Seth to close his eyes, I instructed.

"Seth, she is going to change back now," Edward warned him.

I waited for him to turn his head and start his humming, and then I pictured my two legs, long brown hair, and zero fur. The slip back to human was easier than getting to the cougar to begin with. However, I felt completely drained once I was myself again.

"Edward, can you help me dress? I'm so cold," I whimpered.

He pulled my clothing back on, skipping the coat and wrapping the blanket around me before racing me to the house. We blew through the doors and he immediately settled me the couch. It was dizzying trying to watch him move so fast as he lit a fire in the fireplace and brought me two more blankets before going to the kitchen and disappearing for a few minutes. By the time he came back from the kitchen, Seth and Renée had joined me in the house.

"I don't know why it is, but that was just as bad as when I was the bird," I told Renée.

"I haven't a clue, hon, but maybe you should stick to being a wolf. We can still practice shielding and elemental manipulations—on another day."

"Yes, I'd like that."

Edward handed me the hot tea he'd made, then rested his hand on my cheek. "You feel cold to the touch, Bella. We need to warm you up." I could hear the worry in his tone.

"The same thing happened after the fight. It took a nap under several blankets before I felt human again."

"Um, Jake said he was going to come over with Leah this afternoon, are you up for that?" Seth asked.

"Yeah, I should be fine by dinnertime."

"Speaking of which, do you guys have anything resembling lunch up in this joint? I'm starving," Seth whined.

I laughed, appreciating him. "I'm sure there's plenty of food, Seth."

"Please, do help yourself," Edward added.

I drank the tea, zoning out a little as the others moved around me, the Cullens joining us and leaving again, orbiting around the central space of their home. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I was conscious of was Edward tucking me into our giant bed in our own room. I snuggled against him and went back to sleep, dreaming of endless figures in black cloaks walking in perfect synchronicity through the snow.