Devil Incarnate Chapter Sixteen

Holden assured them they could go home the following morning. Bella was stiff and sore, but Quinn seemed to be fine as long as he kept on top of his pain meds. Lola met them at the front steps of the Cullen home, throwing her arms around his waist. 

Neither of them said anything, and Bella wondered how they'd managed to find such a deep connection at their age. Hopefully, they'd learned it from their respective parents. Leah and Jake were just as likely to scream at each other over a disagreement as they were to cuddle quietly, and Edward and Bella didn't always see eye to eye on certain subjects. But the point wasn't to always agree, it was to compromise and move on after the argument. If nothing else, she hoped Quinn and the girls took that simple fact with them into their relationships. 

It rankled to realize Edward still always knew what she was thinking. No plot of hers could get by his keen instincts, regardless of how careful she thought she was. None of her plans were solid yet; she would wait to see who they sent and whether they could do the job flawlessly. As Edward had said, it wasn't arrogance driving her decision. It was terror of the outcome if someone got it wrong. None of them could afford that, after all. If she didn't approve of who went, she’d take action. If she thought they could do it successfully, she’d have no choice but to sit back and watch them, hoping they did it right.

Muddy clouds streaked across a pale denim sky, tiny smudges of pink highlighting the recent rain shower. Bella inhaled deeply before stepping inside her house. It felt like a stranger to her, with so many people milling around. No longer her personal sanctuary, the house was instead a meeting place for the Cullen army. It was big, but not big enough to welcome so many people without feeling claustrophobic. The discomfort would be brief one way or another—either they'd solve the problem and return to their regular lives or they'd all die. 

No pressure. 

"Do you need to rest?"

Bella turned her head at the sound of her husband's voice. "I don't think so."

"Then we need a briefing in the basement before everyone splits up for the day."

Nodding, she bit her lip before remembering it was busted. 

Tsking, Edward tapped her lower lip with the pad of his thumb. "You'll make it bleed."

Part of her wished he'd remain angry with her. The pleasant, caring side of him made it harder to defy his orders. "It's a reflex."

"I know, love, but you need to take better care of yourself."

Narrowing her eyes, she mentally took back her previous thoughts. "What's that supposed to mean?"

With a sigh, Edward ran one hand through his hair. "That maybe taking on a guy ten times your size wasn't the best idea."

"I saved your ass, didn't I?"

"Yes, in this case, the reward outweighed the risk." When he leaned in and kissed her forehead, her muscles tensed automatically, and she winced at the overwhelming ache. "Doesn't mean I enjoy seeing you battered this way."

"I did what I had to in order to allow you and our son to escape. To live." Please see the parallel with what I'll have to do next.

"All I'm asking is for you to try to be aware of how your actions affect everyone around you."

Bella stood silently as he moved to the doorway, undoubtedly heading to the basement to conduct the meeting he'd mentioned. After a minute, she joined everyone, sitting next to Quinn and Lola. Leah sat on her daughter's other side, with Jake beside her. It was a natural extension of her family, assuming they had the chance to see their futures realized. Though she grew tired of rehashing it, the weight of it all rested heavily on Bella’s shoulders. 

"We're waiting for Holden to get in touch with us, but suffice it to say, every damn thing went to shit out there."

All eyes were glued to her husband. The way he commanded a room was no secret; it didn't surprise her to know they'd all follow him into battle without hesitation. In most instances, she agreed with him wholeheartedly and would give him her rapt attention, too. 

"There's a mole in the agency. Zion knows it. They've exploited it to their advantage."

Those around her murmured in distress.

"We don't know what this means for us right now," Edward continued. "But we lost a lot of men yesterday, men who weren't even mine to lose. The only thing that makes me angrier is that my family was caught in the crossfire."

"And it's not that dumbass Kiernan?" Seamus asked. 

"No. I mean, I'm not sure, but Holden says otherwise. And Kiernan did almost die."

"He saved my life," Quinn pointed out. 

Jake snorted. "Assuming he didn't endanger it in the first place."

"The point is, we still have the weapon when we were supposed to leave it there."

"What?" Bella stood abruptly, her body singing in agony. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Meeting her gaze, Edward replied, "Holden thought it best to retrieve it until we have more intel on who the mole is."

"That doesn't come close to answering my question." She could barely get the words out around her gritted teeth. It was a huge betrayal for him not to tell her sooner.

"It was an agency decision."

There was no telling if those words were meant to soothe, or if he simply believed he was protecting her. She couldn't even remember the last time he'd kept information from her. Rage boiled under her skin, racing through her veins to pool in her gut. It wasn't right. 

Emmett cleared his throat. "Where do we go from here?"

"I'm not sure." For a moment, there was vulnerability in Edward’s eyes. Bella studied him, trying to decipher his emotions. "We'll have to wait, I suppose, for word from Holden. Then, we'll come up with a new plan."

Jake asked, "Does that mean we can relax for now?"

Again, Edward met Bella’s gaze. "Anyone on yesterday's op needs to rest. Everyone else needs to work on finding Zion’s hidey-hole. I want to wipe them from the face of the earth before we even have to worry about handing the bomb over to them."

Jasper put up a hand. "Don't forget about the guy at CalTech."

"Shit." Edward's hand went to his face, but then he dropped it. "I had forgotten."

"I can take a few men with me, get it done and be back before dinner."

"What's this then?" Seamus asked, sitting forward with his elbows on his knees. 

Edward replied, "We've been tasked with taking out the scientist from CalTech who worked on the bomb. Zion wants it done, and Holden sanctioned it."

"Since we're not hiding in the safe house anymore, I have access to exactly what I need here." Jasper glanced at the gun range and back to Edward. 

"Okay, you, Emmett, and Seamus figure it out and get approval from Holden. Is that all you need from me for that?"

At Jasper’s agreement, Edward broke the meeting. Bella rose quickly, heading up the stairs with everyone else. She needed a hot bath and more sleep. Despite being physically fit, she still felt her age after tumbling down a flight of stairs and getting shot. 

Maria stopped her in the hallway. "Will you be all right?"

"In time, yes."

"Can I do anything?"

Bella thought about it. "Just see that Quinn eats and doesn't overdo it. He acts as if nothing happened."

Maria laughed. "I think he has enough mother hens between Leah and Rosalie."

Bella smiled. "Good point."

By the time she made it to the bedroom, Edward was there. Sighing, she walked past him to the bathroom. "If you're here to lecture me again, save your breath."

"Is that what I did?"

Yes, she thought stubbornly. But not really. "Your disapproving tone makes it clear how you feel."

Turning on the hot tap, she peered through the curtain of her hair to see him leaning against the door frame. Ignoring him, she pulled out a bag of Epsom salts.

"I want to know you'll recover, that's all."

"Bruises heal."

"Have I bruised you?"

The question brought her up short. Though she wanted him to go so he didn't see her cry, it was too late. Yes, he'd bruised her ego. Was that it? Her pride felt wounded? That was utter stupidity.

And then she remembered what he'd said downstairs. 

"You didn't tell me you took back the weapon. That's a pretty big decision to keep from me." Dashing away a tear, she straightened to look at his face. Concern? Remorse? "But sure, I'm f—"

"Don't you dare say it."

He was right, of course. She shouldn't say she’s fine if she’s not. “Okay, I’m not fine. You’re not fine, the goddamn universe isn’t fucking fine! What do you want me to say?”

“I don't know. I don't have any words either, Bella.”

Neither knew what to say, and neither would budge on the elephant in the room. Feeling as though the world around her was sinking, she sat on the edge of the tub. He would do what he thought best, but so would she. Was her marriage about to fall apart over this? He kept things from her now, and she was determined in her choice, regardless of whether he approved.

“I just want to take a bath.”

Though part of her wanted to ask him to stay, it wouldn't make a difference in the long run. They were at odds, and sitting in the bathtub together wouldn’t change things. Nothing would change things by the end of the day, even if they knew what to say to make the other understand. Sex wouldn't bring them together if they lacked the basic fundamentals in their marriage. After all they’d been through over the years, the ones where Edward fucked up, she fucked up, and they forgave themselves and each other in order to put it back together, were they about to reach the irreparable?

The water scalded her skin as she sank down to her chin. Tears plopped into the bath, and she didn't bother to wipe her face. Confused, she tried to picture a way forward where they’d both be content. If she did as he asked and allowed someone else to break into Zion’s headquarters to steal the bomb back, could she live with herself? More importantly, was turning her back on what she felt was her duty something she could come to terms with? Would she resent Edward for forcing her to obey him and his directive? Would it fuck their marriage over to bend for him on this one thing, or would it save it? 

She didn't have the answers. After her bath, she tried to rest but found her brain wouldn't shut off. The last time she talked about it with Angela, she told her to listen to Edward. That meant she needed a different friend to listen to, though a part of her worried they’d all say the same. 

Dressing in comfortable sweats, Bella wandered the house until she found Rose. Saoirse and Niall sat with Emmett and Rose, chatting about something. Bella stood in the doorway with her arms crossed, tilting her head when she caught Rose’s eye. Rose excused herself to join Bella.

“Are you okay?” She took Bella’s elbow and steered her outside.

The heat of the late afternoon hit her in the face. Maybe sweats weren't the best choice. “I don't think I am.”

“What’s wrong?”

Bella glanced over her shoulder to ensure they weren’t being followed by guards or even other family members. “I need to talk to you about our plan.”

“Which part?”

The garden was in full bloom, blood red peonies the size of saucers lining the pathway. “The part where I said I would take back the bomb after we handed it over.”

“The part no one agrees with?” Rose clarified.

Bella sighed. She was afraid of that. “Seriously, even you?”

“It’s not safe.”

“Someone has to do it!” Bella hissed.

“It’s got to be a team, not a single person thinking they’re better than anyone else.”

It was on the tip of Bella's tongue to call her friend a bitch. The woman she might as well be a sister to was telling her she was an egomaniac. “No, just the one who knows she’s good enough to get it done.”

“It’s not as easy as you're making it seem.”

“How would you know? Have you ever been out on a mission?” Bella snapped.

Rose stopped walking. “Are you feeling okay?”

“No, actually. I’m feeling like the world is about to collapse and everyone is worried about the optics. How will it look if the little woman goes out and saves the day instead of her big strong husband?”

“I don't recall anyone saying that. It's not even Edward who’s going out there.”

“No, because it’s me.”

Rose frowned, looking around. “There’s no point in acting like it’ll be you. There’s not a person in that house who’ll let you go.”

“We’ll see about that.” Bella started to walk off, but Rose followed.

“Bella, what the fuck has gotten into you?”

“Oh, I don't know. The end of the world?”

Rose dogged her into the kitchen, where Tyler was working at the stove. “That’s no excuse. We’re all stressed over this.”

“It sure as hell doesn't seem like it.”

Bella grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, her head spinning. Sitting at the table, she tried to calm down. She couldn't explain it to anybody. None of them understood how she felt. “You know what? Never mind. I’ll stay in the house like a good little girl and do nothing.”

Tyler turned from the stove and addressed Rose. “Should I get Mr. Cullen?”

“Don't you dare.” Bella drank some of her water and shook her head. Clearly, Rose wouldn't be her ally. That just meant she would have to find someone who could be.

Lola