Edward couldn't help loving the way it felt when Bella wrapped her arms around him as they settled on his motorcycle. From long rides into the countryside to naughtier nights when they got a little frisky—maybe a little dangerous—he missed it all. They used to have fun when she wasn't free falling into despair over money; granted, they were young and stupid. Since his thoughts and feelings were on the surface lately, it was only expected that he would look back on all they’d had and done. With all that in mind, he purposely picked a small cafe they’d enjoyed plenty of times in the past.
Sliding off from her spot behind him, Bella looked up at the entrance of the building. "I haven't been here in years."
“Really?” Unsure why that surprised him, Edward tried and failed to remember the last time he’d been there himself.
“It didn't exactly feel right, I guess.”
Huh. That was more sentimentality out of her than he anticipated. “Well, I haven't either. It seemed like a good idea, but if you don't want to eat here, we can go somewhere else.”
“No.” Bella took his hand in hers. “I love it.”
Kissing her softly on the mouth, he leaned over and opened the door. They were busy, the brunch rush full of laughter and chatter. A server spotted them and waved them over to a table they were wiping down.
“Hi. Coffee?”
“Please,” Edward replied.
“Actually, orange juice, please.”
“Sure thing.”
They sat across from each other, and Edward couldn't help staring at Bella while reaching for a menu. She looked incredible, despite being in an oversized sweatshirt with a ponytail and no makeup. He supposed that was the type of intimacy he’d forfeited for the last few years.
“Why are you staring at me?”
Her voice was low, and she tucked a strand of escaping hair behind her ear as she said it. “I was just admiring how you look.”
“Now?” Her nose scrunched up, and she pushed at the loose sleeves of her shirt.
“Yep. It’s not every day I have the chance to see you for you.”
“You’re making me self-conscious.”
“Sorry.” But he grinned, looking down at his menu with the smile stuck in place. Her foot nudged his calf under the table, and he smiled wider.
“I could eat a horse at this point,” she mumbled.
“When did you eat last?” he asked without looking up.
“Oh, I had a few cupcakes last night in lieu of dinner.”
“Smart.”
“It is when they’re my cupcakes. Especially since I made the frosting from scratch and got to lick the bowl.”
Nearly choking on his own saliva, Edward shifted in his seat at the mental image she’d just conjured. “You’d think I hadn't just nailed you a few days ago, as horny as your mere presence is making me.”
Her laugh was pleasantly loud, the type she let loose when she was fully relaxed and truly happy. Something inside him warmed at the sound.
“You know how to change that,” she said softly.
All he did was hum. He wasn't sure who he was trying to impress, her or himself, but he wanted her to know it was more than the fuck-awesome sex. Sure, it was satisfying, and sure, they were more than good at it. And yes, he’d given in when he thought she was playing with him and didn't mean for it to go anywhere. But as soon as it became genuine, he knew he needed more from her than sex. He needed something solid. He needed her complete honesty and trust. And, most importantly, he needed to know she had made the changes she claimed. Not just temporary fixes that would fly out the window when shit got tough, but a solid effort that would allow them to have a real relationship again.
“I don't expect perfection from you, Bella, but I need to see for myself how you’ll interact with me again.”
The server approached the table with their drinks, and Edward sat back while they ordered. When they were alone again, he continued.
“We didn't have problems when all the bills were paid and you were having good days. We only struggled when you were having a bad day and used that as a reason to trash me, or if a bill was going to be a few days late and you’d flip out and call me a loser.”
When she gazed directly at him, her eyes shimmered. “I can assure you I’ll still have bad days. What I’ve learned is how to handle it better so I won’t take it out on you. Unfortunately, I can’t promise I’ll even be very good at it, since I haven’t precisely had any practice.”
“You didn't have bad days with Austin?”
She fiddled with her fork for a second before answering. “This probably sounds stupid, but I only lashed out at you because of how deep my feelings ran. There was a certainty I felt with you; it told me you would never leave, that you would never hurt me.”
“Bella—”
“But I learned.” Her head came back up, her eyes wetter than they were before. “I learned it was shitty of me to think I could do whatever I wanted and you’d have to suck it up because you loved me. I’d never had that kind of love before, and I haven't had it since. I didn't know what to do with it.”
“Believe it or not, I understand now.” He covered her hand on the table until she was forced to quit messing with the fork. “I didn't want to leave you, I promise. I simply reached my breaking point.”
Nodding, Bella flipped her hand to grasp his fingers. “Love doesn't mean being cruel to make myself feel better. It doesn't include demeaning you when I’m upset or scared.”
“No, it doesn't.”
“But, as I said, it was my first experience with such powerful emotions, and I didn't value them the way I should have. Even though I’ve already apologized, I’ll do it again.”
“Baby, you don’t have to keep saying it. Besides, we weren't supposed to talk about this for a while.”
“Yeah.” She glanced over his shoulder as the server returned, then focused on her plate. “Do you think we should go to counseling together?”
With the syrup poised halfway over his pancakes, he froze. “Absolutely, if you want to.”
“Okay. I’ll ask for a separate appointment at my next session.”
“That’s a great idea.”
They ate in silence for a few minutes until he remembered something he’d meant to ask sooner. “Did you end up with a good interest rate on your loan?”
Something prickled at the base of his neck when she stopped eating, looking up at him like a deer caught in headlights.
She cleared her throat. “I guess I forgot to mention it before, but the money is coming from Austin.”
So many thoughts went through his head. It wasn't his place to make a stink, but also, son of a motherfucking whore.
“You're not his beard anymore, but he's somehow still your sugar daddy.”
“And that’s exactly why I told him I didn't want his money.”
She gulped juice, and he stared at her. She hadn't exactly hidden it, but he wondered when she would have told him if he hadn't asked. “What, uh, how did this happen?”
“When he came over last night, I told him I couldn't play pretend while I put my life on hold. Then he offered the money outright as a gift for helping him keep the career he's worked so hard for. I told him no.”
“And yet.”
“And yet.”
oOo
Her stomach was rolling now. God, why did she have to be such a fucking dumbass? She’d meant to tell him immediately, but so much else had come about instead. Now he was pissed and would have even more reason not to trust her.
Sticking her hands between her knees, she tried her best to warm what was now ice cold. “It’s a loan, not a gift. I only need half the start-up costs, so he’ll draw up a contract, making him a silent partner. Once the money is paid back, we’ll reevaluate, decide if he wants to remain my business partner or let it go.”
“That’s . . . fair." He sighed. "And stupid generous.”
“It’s an investment. He’ll get the interest and all that shit I would give to a bank, but the odds are way more in my favor. I’ve tried to get a traditional loan, but the bank said I was too high risk.”
As she watched, he twisted one of his skull rings around and around.
"I get it's a win for you, and maybe I'm a jealous asshole, but I'd hoped your ex wouldn't remain in your life."
It was her turn to still his hands. "He's not . . . I mean, as ex boyfriends go, he's not a bad guy. We're friends, and I think even someone as broken as me can see he's like family."
"You're being pretty generous, and you're not broken anymore."
She shrugged. "At this point, he has me and Eric, and maybe a few acquaintances. He's expecting his father to cut him off, and his mom passed away a long time ago."
"I'll say it again: why do I find myself thinking I'll like this guy?"
Bella chuckled. "Don't get me wrong. When he starts talking about his company and some of his nerdier hobbies, he's boring as all fuck."
"Thank God. I was beginning to think he was perfect."
"Nah." Part of her wanted to say it was Edward who was perfect, but it sounded too disingenuous. "I want to keep you in the loop on all of this. I meant to tell you where I was getting the money as soon as you came over, but there's just so much going on right now."
"I . . . have to give you the benefit of the doubt. I believe it would have occurred to you soon that you hadn't yet told me."
"Thank you." She went back to eating, happy they'd worked things out.
At the notification ping, Edward checked his phone. "That's Alice, Jasper's realtor friend."
Her brows went up. "Friend?"
"With bennies."
"Of course." It was hard for her to not judge Jasper, but she recognized she didn't have room to talk.
"Alice says she'll look into the type of property I outlined for her and get back to me." Long, slender fingers typed away. "Unless you want me to give her your number to contact you directly."
Bella licked her lips. "Sure, that'll be easier. But I would love to look at them with you."
"I'll make time for that when it comes up. That and therapy."
"We're adults now, aren't we?" Her heart rate didn't increase, and her stomach was steady—and nearly full.
"Despite our apparent efforts to the contrary."
"It's not as scary as I once thought it would be."
His beautiful smile graced his face. "If this is what it's going to look like, I'm happy to adult with you."
Yummy looking breakfast. Great pics.
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