Fire In The Water Chapter Seventeen

Ward

Every time I thought about Beth, I wanted to kick myself in the ass. Despite telling her I was going on the lam, she must be worried about me and my whereabouts. Knowing how much she loved me, there was no alternative. Bella had made a few good points, and I would figure out how to contact my sister before the week was up. I had to go back to work in the early morning hours, and then my life was back up in the air, but right now was for me and Bella.

She fed me dinner, which was more domestic than I’d been with a woman in ages, if ever. I couldn't recall a time when I’d let a girlfriend cook for me, or that I’d had a companion who I could even classify as a girlfriend. Thankfully, it came naturally to Bella. Though I suggested going out, she didn't want to ‘go back out where there are people’, which I understood. So we stayed in, and I couldn't honestly have asked for more.

“We can slowly build up to spending the day with Mama and Jay,” Bella said as I washed the dishes. "We usually have Sunday supper together, but not always."

“They’re great, it’s just that I still don’t know how to act around people.” Even accepting, forgiving people. Those were the ones who stood to lose the most by associating with me. 

“You’re living with secrets, Ward, so it’s no wonder.”

I rinsed soap bubbles out of the heavy red skillet and handed it over for her to dry. “What you mean is that I’m living a lie.”

“I wouldn't go that far.” Setting the dry pan on the counter, she reached for the spatula I’d just washed. “Who you are deep down is who you are on the surface. That’s not a lie, that’s authenticity.”

“Only with you, though,” I murmured. After all, Bella was the only person who accepted me fully. The only one who knew precisely what I was capable of and still loved me. Then again, my sister loved me just as much after prison as she did before my incarceration. If I could have them both in my life, then maybe I could consider my life complete. WITSEC seemed to be the safest option for me, but that meant never speaking to Beth again. If I decided to remain in hiding without added protection, which would mean breaking my promise . . .

How could I do the right thing if the right thing would put Bella in danger? 

“Don't worry, baby, we’ll figure it out.”

Bella’s face blurred in my vision as I pictured the woman I’d saved in the alley. As though through a veil, I watched the scene unfold in front of me. Too late to stop my actions, I witnessed the violent rage overcoming me as I beat a man half to death. No hesitation, no mercy. Only the cops pulling me off the guy forced me to stop and recognize the murderous red haze consuming me. 

“Ward? Ward!”

Bella’s frantic voice barely penetrated the fog—until she screamed again.

“Anthony!”

Snapping back to the present, my chest rose and fell in a heavy rhythm as I stared at the woman in front of me. Real. Tangible.  

And looking fucking terrified. 

“God, Bella.” Gathering her close, I breathed in her scent. “I know I don’t always have the right words to convey what I feel, but I wish I could bury myself inside your heart and let you bring me wherever you go.”

“Where did you go just now?” She stroked up and down my back in soothing circles. “It was as if you were mentally gone.”

“It felt like I was gone.” Swallowing, I pulled away to brush her hair out of her face. “As though I was back in that alley.”

“Oh, Ward.”

Bella rose on her toes to kiss me, and I curled around her to meet her lips. She gave me comfort, security, and love; three things I never thought I’d find in this new life. Her shorter stature reminded me how fragile she was; how much I needed to protect her. 

Then again, she was one of the strongest women I knew. 

Bending, I hoisted her up and gazed into her big brown eyes. Cradling her arms around my head, she pressed her pliant lips to mine and swept her tongue inside my mouth. Moaning against her, I stumbled my way to her room and sat on the bed with her. Bella rose onto her knees, bringing her breasts up to my face. With greedy hands, I pulled her shirt from her body and sucked the porcelain skin into my mouth. 

As she squirmed and gasped, I ground my erection into her core. Too many clothes separated us from what I really wanted—what I hoped she wanted. For the time being, I scooped her breasts out of her bra to swirl my tongue around one nipple before biting down. 

"Oh, fuck," she cried, gripping my hair. 

Licking up her cleavage, I nibbled along her throat to her jaw before meeting her open mouth in a searing kiss. Our heavy breaths mingled, desperate and needy. Faster and faster, Bella rocked her hips until I feared I would blow my load in my pants like a teenager. 

So I stood, lowering her to the bed to peel her clothing from her body. As her flesh was revealed to me, I set my lips on each inch. Writhing and breathing raggedly, Bella pleaded with me. 

"God, please fuck me, Ward. Please."

I dropped her panties on the floor, and she opened her legs in invitation. Not one to miss out on an opportunity, I dragged her closer and went in full force. 

Maybe one day soon I'd be gentle. Perhaps later tonight or tomorrow, I'd go in slow and easy. 

Now, though; now I needed to hear her scream. She locked her ankles around my head and I sucked her clit into my mouth. She raised her hips, and I slid two fingers inside her pussy. And when she trembled into an orgasm, I gave her a minute to settle before rising one last time to undress. 

As I removed my shirt, I couldn't help thinking of the underlying meaning behind my tattoo. Love always died, at least where I came from. No beautiful woman survived the dangerous streets I lived on; no man cared enough to drop his guard for a woman's love.

And yet, as I shucked my jeans and leaned over Bella, I realized my ink had new meaning. The beautiful could love the broken and bring him back to life with a kiss. Better yet; though he'd been shattered and lost, Anthony Masen had found wholeness and pure love under the guise of Ward Cullen. 

I nearly cried at the perfection of it all, but instead, I took Bella in my arms and kissed her softly. 

Then I thrust inside her, feeling the heat of completion racing up my spine. Pulling her feet up to my shoulders, I watched her tits bounce as I fucked her hard and fast. 

"Ward! Fuck!"

Lifting her ass from the bed, I demanded, "Louder, Bella."

"Fuck!" she shouted. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

I briefly wondered if anyone was downstairs within earshot. 

Snapping my hips, I drove us up the mattress until Bella had to brace herself on the headboard. She met my movements until she quivered into another orgasm, and I knew I couldn't last any longer. 

"Dammit, Bella, you feel so good. So fucking good."

Finally spent, I stilled and emptied everything I had inside her. I flopped down beside her, pulling her as close to me as physically possible. She kissed my shoulder, my neck, and then snuggled against me. 

“So good,” she mumbled in agreement.

To her, maybe I was a hero. At the very least, I was the good guy. The nice guy who treated her well and put her first.

Apparently, contentment could only last a few brief seconds before doubts crept into my mind.

How would she feel when she realized I hadn't been entirely truthful? Guilt as large as a boulder settled on my shoulders as I thought about that last untold truth. The one even Beth didn't know. I'd told Bella I was treated as the little fish, but few people understood that phrase the way it’s intended. Of all the horrors I'd seen in my life, those moments were the ones etched deep as burns, scarred but never healed. 

Bella was divinity, both mine and hers. I didn't think she realized how she’d saved me from myself and the darkness I was ready to disappear into. Somehow, she’d kept herself above water while others drowned, me included. And I was nothing but haunted; chased by demons of my own making. Teetering on a precipice, with a serene light on one side and depthless hell on the other. I wanted to cling to the good, to immerse myself in the light before it extinguished itself on my fragile bones. 

“What are you thinking about?” Bella asked, her voice raspy and sexy.

“How much you’ve saved me.”

It was the truth, if only parts of it. Since we’d met, I’d dealt her pieces of honesty and lies as much as my porcelain heart allowed. One wrong move and everything would come crashing down.

It was nothing less than what I deserved.

“You don't give yourself enough credit.”

“No, I suppose not.”

She rose over me, pushing her hair behind her shoulders so she could look down at me. With her hands braced on my chest, she smiled. “As much as you might like to think so, I don't have everything figured out.”

“More than I do.” Helpless, I ran my hands up her bare sides. Touching her to prove to myself she was real.

“We can work on it together. That’s what couples do, right? Hash things out together.”

“I wouldn't know.”

Sighing, she draped her body over mine, the languid warmth of her skin setting me on fire. Heartbeat to heartbeat, she and I were one entity for a moment in time. Long enough to know I was fucked.

If she ever left me, I’d be a dead man. One way or another, she was my salvation. In life and death, all I wanted was Bella Swan. My love for her climbed up and choked me, making me feel like the sappiest man on earth. Like a weakling.

“I love you. That’s all that matters.” She whispered the words into my ear, her lips caressing my lobe and sending a shiver straight to my cock.

“I promised myself I’d go slower the next time.”

“I don't mind it either way.”

What else did I expect her to say?

Shifting her off me so I could lean down to her neck, I ran my tongue along her pulse point. “I love you too.”

The words barely existed, they were so quiet. Roaming my fingers around each of her nipples, I resisted the urge to clamp down on them. Her breath stuttered in her chest, and she curled her legs up to cradle me between her thighs.

“What happens to us when our world falls apart, Bella?”

Eyelids fluttering open, she stared up at me. Concern moved behind her eyes, quickly hidden by something much stronger. “Whatever happens, we promised to stay together. We’ll work on keeping you safe.”

“And if keeping me safe puts you in danger?”

She frowned. “We’ve talked about this.”

We had, and I couldn't say why it plagued me right this minute. But it hammered relentlessly at my skull. “I know. I’m sorry.”

To distract her, I bent my head back to her throat and kissed her again. Finding the sensitive part behind her ear, sucking and licking to hear her moan, I gently tweaked her nipples. Restless, her legs spread and closed, tangling with mine and moving back. Once I knew she was dying for me to move lower, I crept one hand toward her belly, dipping into her navel to watch her squirm. Finally, I pressed my fingers to her clit, finding her swollen and more than ready for me.

Her nails dug into my forearms as I slipped a finger inside her pussy, feeling how wet and hot I’d made her. Her hips surged, a silent plea for more, so I stroked her as she panted and cried out. Pulling my hand back, I sucked my finger into my mouth as she watched, her mouth popping open.

“God, that’s so hot.”

I offered my finger to her, and she closed her mouth around it. Her pupils had dilated, making her eyes look bigger than usual, and I took my finger back so I could kiss her properly. Retreating to her waiting pussy, I went back to stroking her, bringing her to the brink before backing off. 

“Please,” she gasped. “Please let me come.”

If I thought I was hard before, it was nothing compared to what I felt after she begged me to come. Speeding up my movements, I bent to take her nipple into my mouth.

“Yes!” Her legs locked down on my hand, her inner muscles throbbing as she clamped down on me.

“Fuck, Bella. You’re just so gorgeous.”

Tilting her closer, I slid my cock inside her as she continued to shudder, and she gasped once more. Face to face, I kissed her as I showed her how much I loved her. Grasping her ass to tug her closer, to angle deeper, I forced my doubts to the back of my mind and enjoyed the woman in my arms. That was all I could do for now until the choice was ripped away from me yet again.