Bella
I suppose Ward freaking out was exactly what I expected. He’d told me before that he was afraid to live his life out in the open, so it shouldn't come as a shock that he would leave the second he got too close to me.
That didn't mean it stung any less.
My life went on. It had been a while since I'd been to Riley's house, so I figured I'd drop in on her and Jason. Their house was a small blue Victorian sitting on a little bluff by the bay with a serenity and warmth that felt like home. It wasn’t where Mama Riley had raised me; she'd moved into Jason's place a few years after they got together. It suited her, though, with the wraparound porch and sloping back lawn surrounded by a white split-rail fence where she could grow to her heart’s content.
Some people might consider them hippies, but I didn't. They liked things natural, homemade, and mostly healthy, but that was as close as they got. Raising goats and chickens, making pottery and hand creams didn't make them hippies to me. Whether they were or weren't, I loved them both; especially since Jason wasn't afraid to fill the father role for me.
"Sweet girl," he said as he greeted me at the gate.
Gray-haired and paunchy, Jason was barely taller than me as he hugged me tight. "Where's Mama?"
"Out back. Come on."
I followed him down the path, circling the side of the house to the backyard. Riley sat on the grass in the middle of her goat herd, one of which had crawled into her lap.
"What are you doing?" The sight made me laugh, but I envied her a bit.
"Communin' with nature. Wanna join?" Her thick accent never ceased to bring a smile to my face.
"Of course." With ease, I sank down beside her, leaning until our bodies touched.
"I missed you, pea."
Even though we saw each other pretty much every weekend, I grinned wider, looking out over the water. My family was right here, and they enjoyed my company. "I missed you, too, pod."
Jason had once made a joke that we were so different from each other we couldn't ever be called two peas in a pod. Riley had responded that she was fine with that, but I was still her little pea. She'd been my protector, my safe haven—my pod—since before I could remember.
"Well, this mama was fixin' to make supper. You wanna stay?"
"Hell yeah."
Joining her and Jason in the kitchen was a familiar routine. We'd spent countless evenings making dinner together, and plenty of holidays gathered around the large island.
Riley chattered as she pulled ingredients from the fridge. "I remember Mama’n them makin' chicken and dumplins from the time I was knee high to a billy goat."
While chopping carrots, celery, and onions, I watched her cut up chicken and put it in a large pot full of broth. Jason turned on music, the eighties and nineties country he and Riley favored, and set the table while she gathered the ingredients to make dumplings.
"Tell us whatcha been up to, sweetpea." My mother in every way that mattered, Riley glanced over at me as I hesitated. "That bad, or that good?"
"I don't know, honestly." I took a seat at the table, witnessing the effortless dance between the two as they moved around each other. "Have you heard about the new guy?"
"I reckon you mean Peter's new boy."
I grinned at her turn of phrase. "His name is Ward."
"Sure, I know who you mean." Pausing with flour on her hands, she turned the heat up under the pot and looked over at me. "He warmin' your bed?"
"Rye!" Jason admonished, a look of horror on his wrinkly face.
Unperturbed, Riley continued her line of questioning as George Strait crooned about blue clear skies. "I've a right to ask my daughter who she's knockin' boots with. So? He any good?"
Face flaming, I fussed with my ponytail. "I wouldn't know, but if he's as good in that department as he is at kissing me, then I can only imagine."
Jason said, "I'm just going to tell you to be safe and give you two a minute."
I couldn't blame him for ducking out. Going back to stand beside Riley, I pushed escaping strands of hair behind my ears and tried to form coherent words out of scattered thoughts. "He's scared. Running from bad decisions."
Silently stirring, Riley gave me the space to collect myself.
"I like him a lot. He seems to like me. And what he did in the past; he's not that guy now. He's sweet, thoughtful, and has an amazing memory for quoting literature."
"But?" she prompted when I went silent.
"That fear he holds onto freezes him. He spends more time running from me than talking to me."
Riley clucked her tongue. "What's your next move?"
"Good question." I sighed. "It feels like I'm the one always making a move. If he does get up the nerve, he shuts down minutes later. I don't want to be the one to have to push him every time."
Nodding, Riley gave everything a stir, fishing out a carrot and stabbing it before letting it fall back into the broth. "But you don't wanna give up entirely." With that statement, she dropped pieces of dough into the boiling broth, watching them float and spin. “You like him, and it would be a shame if nothin’ came of that attraction.”
"Right."
Nothing else could be said for the time being. She would think about it while dinner finished cooking, and I would hope she could give me some ideas. Jason came back into the room, kissing my temple and then pouring me a glass of juice.
“Thanks, Jay,” I murmured.
When dinner was ready and we sat down, Riley asked, "Think you'll need me at the store Friday?"
"I sure hope so. The warmer it gets, the more tourists come over."
"Good, good."
I saw the gleam in her eye, and it didn't even bother me. If Ward stopped in, he'd get a big ol' dose of Mama Riley. Maybe it was the kick in the ass he needed.
"What are you planning, Riley Jean Mathis?" Tsking, Jason scooped up dumplings and plopped them in his bowl. "You can't go meddling in everyone's business just so you can get your way."
"Can't never could do nothin'. But I can." Clear in her determination, she took a bite and chewed while staring dead into Jason’s eyes.
"Lord save us," he muttered, and I grinned.
"Mama, it's okay with me if you give Ward a full dose of you, southernisms and all."
"The good Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, that young man will find his way into Bookish while I'm there, and we'll have ourselves a sit-to."
"You'll run him off, and then Bella won't stand a chance." Grumbling, Jay wiped his mouth on a cloth napkin.
Raising my brows, I gazed steadily at him. "A chance at what?"
"Grandbabies, honey." Jason sighed. "We're two old coots rambling around this house all alone. We'd love a baby to dote on."
"Then have your own," I said crossly.
"I don't mean to pressure you, sweet girl. This is the first man you've shown real interest in since high school and that Jake fellow."
"I’d give you what you want if the other half of the equation was willing." I drained my glass. "But he’s not, so you should focus on something else."
"Well, never mind about that." Riley pushed the carafe of juice in my direction so I could refill my glass. "I'll see what's what with that boy, and we'll go from there."
As it turned out, Ward didn't come by on Friday. We were busy, though, so it was great to see my earnings remain in the black on the ledger. Riley’s friends stopped in to chat and then left with armloads of books they didn't realize they needed. She was excellent at subtly nudging people in the direction she wanted them to go.
Sometimes she was as subtle as a freight train, but it worked out.
Saturday morning dawned cool and misty, exactly how I liked it. I could pretend it was early fall, that the leaves were red and gold, and the scents of cinnamon candles and pumpkins were in the air. Charlie napped in the armchair, and I left the front doors closed to block out the mist that would curl the books’ pages if given a chance.
Alone for the time being, I was waist-deep in rearranging a section of classic literature when the bell over the doors chimed.
"What on earth are you doing? I can barely see you."
That familiar voice was enough to knock me up on its own. "Every once in a while, I like to shift things around. Shake it up, keep it interesting."
"And that means stacking large books until they obscure you from sight?"
"If need be," I said with humor. "There's hot tea and honey if you've a mind for it."
"Mm."
My ears perked up at the sound of him shuffling away, and Charlie meowing in demand of attention. A teacup rattled, and the sound of water splashing into it made me smile. At least he wasn't pretending it was a grand gesture to accept a free drink.
"Local, I presume?"
Sliding three books onto a shelf, I responded, "Both the tea and the honey."
“I love honey. Is that wrong of me to say out loud?”
“Why would it be?” I finished that shelf, which left me room to walk around the tall stacks and meet him by the register.
The ever-present cap was on his head, obscuring the shiny penny-colored hair. His jacket was absent, showing sinewy forearms under a white t-shirt. “It sounds juvenile.”
“Not to me.” Reaching around him, I picked up a tea bag. “It goes perfectly with tea, and other things, too.”
“Mm, I guess it depends on how you like to eat your honey.”
My head came up sharply, but he wasn't looking in my direction.
Stirring the darkening water with one hand and dolloping a stream of honey from the honey dipper with the other, he continued. “If you eat it by itself, then it’s decadent.”
“I, um.” I swallowed. Had the temperature risen with his presence?
“Oops.” A drop landed on his fingertip, and he put down the implements he held so he could lick it off. Popping the pad into his mouth, he sucked on his middle finger, then added the ring finger.
I was about to either die or eat him alive.
“Sticky.” Laughing at himself, he straightened up the items on the table and took a sip of the tea. “Still hot.”
Mother— “Ward?”
He glanced up. “Yeah?”
“What the fuck are you doing?”
His cheeks reddened, and he stumbled over his words. “You said—I was just—”
“Please stop.” Inhaling sharply, I realized he’d misunderstood. “I don't mean the tea, babe.”
“Then what?” His frown was adorable, and I was fucking horny for him.
“I thought you were teasing me intentionally.”
“About—about tea?”
“About honey.” Licking my lips, I moved slowly closer.
Eyes wide, he backed up one step before holding his ground. “Well, maybe I like it straight from the source. Sticky. Sweet.”
God. Fucking. Damn.
“Hot.” Grinning now, probably at my consternation, he changed course and stepped forward. “Is your honey locally grown, Bella?”
“Only the finest for you.” My voice barely audible over the pounding of my heart, I cleared my throat. “You said you didn't want to try it.”
“It’s not that I don't want to, that’s for sure.”
“We’re already linked, you know.”
“You and me?” Shaking his head, he said, “Only as acquaintances. No one could use you against me if they thought we were only friends.”
Heavy rain suddenly pelted the roof, and I sucked in a breath. “We’re obviously drawn to each other. I can't be near you without wanting to kiss you.”
“Mm. If that was all you wanted from me, I would kiss you all day long.” He leaned against the wall by the register. “Make out like teenagers until the rain is gone.”
I groaned. “You can't say stuff like that when you don't mean it.”
“Of course I mean it. The problem is that you want more. We both want more.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “Maybe there’s something wrong with me for wanting to heal you. I want to take all your pain and fix it, and that makes me feel weak.”
“In some ways, living here in this little town has healed me. I feel more human here than I have in years.”
“How can you be healed when you’re in hiding?”
Stepping closer, he said, “Maybe it is you.” His gaze shifted between my eyes and my mouth. “Maybe I want to take your bad days and turn them around.”
There was nothing I could say to that. I would let him, if he would follow through. If he would stick around and not run out of my store ten seconds after kissing me.
“Here.” Reaching out, he wrapped his hand around my nape and tugged me against him. Chest to chest, my hands moving up to his shoulders, we stood immobile.
“Ward, I’m falling too fast for a man whose biggest goal is to leave me when the going gets tough.”
Dropping his forehead to mine and dislodging his cap, he breathed out across my face. Stopping him would have been wise, but it would have broken my heart. “If I could be satisfied after having one day with you, and then pretend we’re just friends, I would. But I can't do that to you.”
“Then what are we doing?” I’d gripped the collar of his shirt, desperate to rip it off him. I’d close up early and sprint next door if I thought he was willing.
Then again, I’d wake up to an empty bed, and that would kill me.
“I want you, Bella. I do.”
“But?”
“There’s no but.”
His mouth descended on mine, the hint of honey on his tongue. Pain blossomed in my chest, knowing this kiss wouldn't last. I felt tears threaten, but blinked them back. Ward skimmed his hands along my spine to cup the back of my head, deepening the angle and the fervor of his movements. Pressed that close, his body heat seeped into my skin, and I gladly absorbed him. Every ridge along his back responded to the skin of my fingertips, asking for more and offering me sparking lust in return. Our legs tangled, my thigh pressed between his, and I felt his growing hardness.
I only pulled back because I couldn't breathe, but then I rested my head on his shoulder and tried to realign my thoughts. If I laid it all out on the line and he walked away again, I didn't think I could bear it. “I need all of you or none of you.”
“Bella.”
“I will accept full responsibility for the threat you feel is looming. And I will give you every cell of my body.” Picking up my head, I stared into his eyes. “In return, I want you to figure out how to get into witness protection so you can be safe here. With me.”
I held my breath while I waited, while his eyes darkened and the set of his jaw hardened. The sound of his breathing and the rain lashing the windows was the only thing I focused on.
“Okay.”
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