“Edward.” He turns away from me, but I call his name nonetheless. “I need you, so much,” I whisper. It’s now or never. “I love you.”
The kitchen is dead silent as my words seem to reverberate around us.
He sets down his bowl and fork, leaving his back to me. He is vulnerable in this moment, and I don’t want to fuck it up. I reach out, tentatively touching his shoulder blade. He seems to curl in on himself as his shoulders become rounded.
“I don’t say that lightly, because men come and go. My mother and Rose, that’s it for who I love. But you came in and… you stole my heart right out of my chest. I can’t accurately express how much I need you, but if this is too much for you…” I trail off, tears trying to work their way down my face. I blink and they fall.
I hear the sigh of breath that he forces out, and hope that he’s going to speak. When he doesn't, I start again. “If you don't feel the same, or can't feel the same, I understand, but I can’t be in a relationship without love and affection. I grew up with a single mom, Edward, and she worked her ass off for me. She was there for everything, and never let me feel the loss of my father. She was constantly two people until last year when I forced her to retire. I subsidize her income with my own, and she deserves every minute she has to relax and be herself. I can't fathom being a mom and a dad, but it sounds like both of our moms had to do that. And I hope to God your mother got the help she needed, because-”
“I need you to leave.” His words are cold, final. My heart breaks as I realize that he doesn’t love me in return. Maybe he can’t love anyone.
My stomach is clenched in knots as I slide carefully off the counter, walking slowly into Edward’s bedroom. I grab the items I’d left on previous visits, stuffing them into my purse as tears course down my face. I pull on a pair of pants and grab my shoes, not even bothering to put them on.
As I head through the main room to the elevator, I glance toward the kitchen doorway. Edward hasn’t moved at all, it seems. I bite down on my lip to strangle the sob in my throat, finally punching the button for the elevator. The wait feels like an eternity as I struggle to stay upright. The life I thought we were building is a lie.
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