Seismic Shift Chapter 20

Every time we have to say goodbye

I'm counting down until we say hello

Every touch is like the strongest drug

I don't know how much longer I can go

You're like that cigarette

That shot of hundred proof

No matter how much I get

I'm always craving

That feeling when we kiss

The way your body moves

No matter how much I get

I'm always craving you

~Thomas Rhett & Maren Morris, Craving you

Edward was right about one thing; I was exhausted. We went to school together in the mornings, and he had every class with me. We ate lunch together in the cafeteria most days. Sometimes we’d hit up a nearby restaurant if we had more time between classes. Then, most afternoons I had to work at the bookstore. I enjoyed my job, really. The people, the books, the smell of a new shipment. Pulling out crisp paperbacks with smooth, unwrinkled spines or heavy hard copies of textbooks was the highlight of my shift.

Edward volunteered to do my errands while I was working. It was a good way for him to pass the time while we were separated. He went to the grocery store, the pet store, he even washed my laundry for me.

And I was still exhausted. Each night I fell into a deep sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, without having spent any time making love to Edward. I worried that he would be offended, or even hurt, but he assured me that being with me while I slept was enough for him.

Finally, on the third weekend since he’d returned to me, I threw down my textbook and stood. Edward lifted his head from where he’d been reading as well, looking up at me curiously.

“Bella?” he questioned.

“I need to get out of here. Let’s go to Ravenna Park.” I nudged his shoe with my own and tried to convey with my eyes the reason. I probably just looked constipated.

“Excellent idea,” he murmured as he stood.

I gathered my purse and my sweatshirt, ran my hand over Frank as he napped on my bed, and slipped on my sneakers. Edward had my truck keys in his hand as I came back into the living room. I smiled at him as I walked past to the hallway with the other two bedrooms.

“Hey, Jess?” I called from the open doorway to her room.

She stuck her head out of her bathroom, one hand holding a flat iron. “Yeah?”

I tried not to laugh, because half of her hair was smooth, while the rest was in a frizzy poof. “Edward and I are going running.”

She rolled her blue eyes. “Of course he runs,” she muttered bitterly. “He’s perfect.”

“Jess?”

“Yeah, Bambi.”

“I can hear you,” I laughed.

“Oh, I know!” she sang.

Chuckling, I headed back to the front door that Edward held open and out into the hall. I winked at him as I passed, knowing he heard Jess, but he merely rolled his eyes.

It wasn't until we were enclosed in the truck that I spoke about my motives. “I think one of my biggest problems is that I haven't made time for my wolf,” I explained.

“That makes sense to me,” he replied. “I also need to utilize the forest area.”

“I can't believe you haven't just gone while I was working,” I huffed. It wasn't the first time we’d had this discussion. He didn't want to be too far away from me, and the campus wasn't as close to the park as he would feel comfortable with.

“I am going now, Bella. That is what matters.”

“So if I hadn't suggested this, you’d have gone hungry?” I snapped.

There was silence for several minutes. Finally, I looked at his profile as he drove; the tight set to his jaw, the narrowing of his eyes. His mouth firmly closed. Oops.

“I didn't mean to snap at you. I just can't stand the thought of you not taking care of yourself, especially if I’m the reason for it!”

He finally spoke as he pulled into the parking lot. As he turned to me, I could see the frustration and hurt in his darkened eyes. “Yet I understood your need to make decisions regarding your health without interference from me.”

He was out the door before I’d taken my next breath, and opening my door before I registered how much I’d hurt his feelings. Ever the gentleman, even when pissed at his lady.

Edward entwined his fingers with mine as we set off down the path at a brisk walk. I warred with myself over what to say; a simple apology didn't seem to be enough. We’d never really fought, hardly disagreed about anything. Maybe I’d built up a fairytale in my head and forgot to take into account real life.

“I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Edward. I would never hurt you intentionally.”

“I know that,” he replied coolly.

Fuck, he does stone cold well. “I didn't mean to imply that I know what’s best for you, either.”

“However, that is precisely what you did.”

“Are you going to be a moody vampire now? ‘Cause I feel like I need a heads up if I’m going to face angsty-emo-Ed.”

His gaze snapped to my face, and I wondered if I’d gone too far. His hand was still relaxed in mine, but I figured he could fake that shit all day long.

“Are you poking fun at me now?” His voice was rather stiff and formal.

“Maybe?” I answered, like I wasn't sure.

Edward stopped walking, and pulled my arm so that I spun to face him. “You insulted me and mocked me in the span of fifteen minutes. Impressive, Bella.”

That was right about the time any genius part of my brain should have realized that vampires are scary creatures capable of untold destruction. Instead, I giggled. My free hand came up to cover my mouth, but it was too late. Edward’s eyes widened before narrowing in on the hand over my mouth. He yanked my hand out of the way and pressed his lips to mine, holding my body close to his in a tight grip. Now I could understand the frustration in his eyes, the stiff way he’d held himself. A groan escaped his mouth as I tasted him, stroking my tongue into his mouth.

He broke away to speak. “This is the only thing that I need, Bella. You.” Edward dipped down again and looked me in the eyes. “You sustain me, and I will feed when I must. But you will forever come first, do you understand?”

I bit my lower lip and nodded. His gaze was intense, and I tingled all over.

“Now we must move further into the woods so that you may set your spirit free.”

I nodded again, taking his hand and resuming our quick pace. I did need to shift, and he needed to hunt.

In next to no time, we were at the boulder that I liked the best for a marker of where to start and finish, plus it served as a place for me to put my clothes. The trees were closer together, covered in heavy drapes of verdant moss as though they’d been dressed for the ball by their fairy godmother before being frozen back in place. There was a wide stream nearby, and I could hear its bubbly music.

“The last time I was here, I swear I felt you,” I admitted.

“I felt the same, a sensation of being pulled. I smelled you and your wolf, and knew you had been here.”

“Well, that explains some things.” I took a deep breath and began undressing. This was the first time Edward would be witness to my shifting, and I found myself nervous.

“All will be as it should be.”

I frowned at his way of speaking, but I understood his intent. I backed up until there was at least ten feet between us, then closed my eyes. I let go of Bella the human and concentrated on fur, paws, and freedom to run with the wind. I shivered as I felt the lightning course through my veins with crackling sounds. I heard the ancient whispering of native spells, and then opened my eyes to watch Edward. My skin shimmered, sparkling brighter than a disco ball, and I threw my head back seconds before I exploded into white fur.

I stood on four legs, not too much taller than Edward, and stared at him with different eyes. He watched me, tentatively at first, and as I lowered my head and moved forward, he lifted his outstretched hand until he made contact with my muzzle. I purred—I couldn’t help myself—and he laughed in wonderment.

“There is a place deep inside you filled with pieces of me. A mouthful of my kiss, the tenderness of my touch. Fragments of my soul left behind for all to see. No one can truly know you, without knowing parts of me. The same is true in reverse; fire and ice. I know every deep secret and brightest truth of all your forms.” He ran his hands through my fur again. “You are an exquisite creature, Bella-mine.”

I huffed and dipped my head further. He melted my heart with his words.

“I believe the one thing you wanted most from me was to race, is that not correct?”

I squealed inside, which sounded like a whine from my wolf’s mouth. Edward poised himself like a marathon runner at the starting block, and I stood next to him.

“3… 2… 1!” he shouted, and I heard the glee in his voice.

We took off simultaneously, and I was proud to stay head to head, so to speak. My nose was never further forward than his pumping arms, and I lost several paces as time went on. I finally conceded that he was minimally faster as my legs began to quake from exertion. I could ostensibly rest and replenish in minutes and go back to the race, but there was no need. I wanted him to feed.

I slowed to a stop and walked, finally stopping to lengthen my muscles in a stretch. Edward laughed, then darted off in the forest after some poor woodland creature. He would never tire, of course.

By the time we returned to my clothes, I was feeling exuberant. I shifted easily, no complaints from the wolf as she let the woman take over. “I had a great time!” I yelled as soon as I had my voice back.

Edward laughed long and loud. “As did I.”