FAÇADE Epilogue

I am not ashamed anymore

I want something so impure

You better impress now, watching my dress now, fall to the floor

Crawling underneath my skin, sweet talk with a hint of sin

Begging you to take me

Devil underneath your grin, sweet thing, bet you play to win, heaven gonna hate me

~Halsey, Not Afraid Anymore

“Would you relax? It’s not like she didn't have kids of her own. Plus, she’s been babysitting Vicky since she was born.”

“That was almost seven years ago. Things change. Not to mention, she has both of them tonight, plus Vicky.”

My wife and I were supposed to be having a date night. That meant that Gavin was with my mother, but so was Tyler. “Dad is there. Maggie and Kate should be there before too much longer. They were only going to be at the Realtor function until seven. Vicky is very good with Tyler, and can pitch in with Gavin on some things if need be.”

Tyler was seven months old, but Gavin was only two months old. We hadn't had a moment’s peace since he was born, as was normal. I wanted Bella to relax and enjoy herself without being so stressed out. So far, it wasn't working.

“I know you’re right. Logically. But emotionally…”

“Emotionally, you’re a wreck. I understand.”

We left the car with the valet at the front of the restaurant, and I placed my hand on Bella’s lower back as I followed just slightly behind her inside. It was already cooling off again. Another school year was about to start, and things had ramped up for all of us.

Bella had found a dear friend in a shelter resident named Maria. She used to be a homeopath until her circumstances were altered and she ended up in the shelter. She and Bella spent a lot of time with the residents, and Maria began leading yoga classes and meditation sessions. Bella decided that she wanted Maria to take over temporarily while she was out on leave, as a co-chairperson on the council. Maria, Lucas, and Felix worked together to keep the daily operations running smoothly while Bella was home with our son. Felix had even shown a romantic interest in Maria which she seemed to return.

“What did you think of the renovations?” I asked after we’d been seated.

Bella answered me with her eyes on the menu. “It’s almost complete, and that makes me happy.”

“Was it good to see that everything was exactly as it should be?” We’d visited briefly this afternoon for Bella’s sake. She was itching to get back to it, I could tell.

She set her menu down and folded her hands on top of it. “Yes and no. I’m glad it didn't fall apart in my absence, but, well...”

“On the other hand, it didn't fall apart in your absence.”

“Right. So if I never went back, who would notice?”

I thought about what she’d said as we placed our orders. She was a very good mother. She picked up on what Gavin needed effortlessly, it seemed. She was tired, but overall very happy, at home. Yet, I knew there was a part of her that missed being at the shelter every day. Like me, she needed to interact with the families and see that their needs were being met.

“You could go part time. You know the child care workers would salivate at the chance to get their hands on Gavin.” He was a very adorable little guy with no hair and his mother’s big brown eyes and a perpetual smile.

“I’ve thought about it. Maria offered to watch him while I was there and continue to oversee things while I’m not.”

I picked up the drink the server dropped off. “So why don't you try that?”

Bella swirled her glass of water and wouldn't meet my gaze. “I don't know. It doesn't feel right.”

“Right how?”

She looked up finally. “I can’t explain it. I want to be there all the time like I used to be. At the same time, I want to be with Gavin every second that I can. Look at tonight. I can't stop thinking about him.”

“That’s understandable, Bella. Do what feels right to you.”

Since being in business for a little over a year, I was actually making a bit of a profit. We tried not to touch Bella’s inheritance unless it was for something important. So far, we’d not used it on ourselves at all. Bella had choices.

“You’re right. I’ve given it too much thought. I’ll let it sit on the backburner awhile.”

We spent the rest of our dinner talking about anything but work. Vicky, Tyler, my sister’s business, Emily. Anything. By the time I ordered a chocolate dessert that Bella said she didn't want but ate more of than I did, she was finally relaxed. As I walked behind her to the front of the restaurant I looked her over from head to toe. She was wearing a black dress with a wide neckline that showed off much of her shoulders. She was carrying a wrap that she hadn't put on yet, so I was able to admire the column of her neck beneath her upswept hairdo. The dress fell almost to her knees, so I looked down to the very tall heels she was walking confidently in and kind of whimpered.

She turned to me as we stepped outside. “Are you okay?”

I smiled in what I hoped was an attractive way. “Just finding my wife particularly sexy.”

She flashed me a smile as she pulled the wrap over her shoulders. “I admit it’s been too long since I dressed up.”

I caught a strand of hair that blew loose and twined it around my finger. “Home or hotel?”

I’d booked us a room, but she’d been so nervous about leaving Gavin that I’d assured her we could pick him up and go home if she wanted.

“I think… I think we can stay out.”

Thank God. My favorite sin was defiling my wife, and it had been a little too long for my tastes. My smile grew to Cheshire proportions. “That’s music to my ears.” And to my dick.

In case I wasn't sure of her intentions, Bella spent the car ride leaned over against my side while she ran her hand up and down my leg. Her mouth was busy on my neck and ear, and I had to try really hard not to wreck the vehicle.

When we finally got there we practically sprinted for the front desk.

“On your honeymoon?” the desk clerk asked with a smile as I wrapped an arm around Bella.

“Every day,” I replied.

She frowned, but then she upgraded our room, so there was a bonus in loving my wife like crazy. That and the killer sex.

The second the doors on the elevator closed, I dropped the one bag we’d brought and had her pressed against the wall with my hand between us.

“There’s bound to be a camera, Edward.”

“I told her we were on our honeymoon. What couple doesn't fool around in the elevator on their honeymoon?”

It only took me seconds to have my hand under her dress and in her panties. I used my body to block her from any view, whether it be a camera or the doors should we stop. Her cries proved how long it had been, since the simplest touch drove her wild.

I smoothed everything back in place as the elevator dinged, pressing a lingering kiss on her mouth and watching her eyes as she panted. She was so freaking turned on.

We hurried down the hall to our room, and the first thing I did once we got inside was drop the bag and close the drapes. Then I took off my coat and draped it over the desk chair. My tie came next, and Bella stood near the bed and watched me, her lower lip caught between her teeth. She came toward me, and I pushed my hands into her hair, ruining whatever she’d done with it. I bit her lip for her, pulled on it and sucked it and caressed it with my tongue as she breathed with me. Her hands were busy unbuttoning my shirt and pulling it out of my pants. It took little effort to have her dress pushed off her shoulders and draped at her waist.

I’d be remiss if I didn't mention the sexy black bra with the nursing pads tucked inside that I wasn't allowed to take off unless I wanted a shower—which I most certainly did not. I missed her tits, but I would wait my turn.

So instead I satisfied my lust by cupping her ass and running my tongue over her throat. She unfastened my pants and worked very diligently at removing them and everything from the waist down. I let her push my shirt off my shoulders because I liked the way it felt to have her hands on my chest. Once I was naked I pushed at her dress until it pooled at her feet and she could remove it, leaving her in stockings and a garter with sexy lace panties.

“You look fucking edible,” I whispered in her ear, and she shivered and moaned.

When we maneuvered to the bed, I held both her hands above her with one of mine as I ran my other over her belly button and across her thighs. I pulled the panties off, but left the rest. Her legs tensed and pulled up to wrap around my waist.

“Now, Edward. It’s been too long. I need you.”

I didn't waste any more time, but I moved gently at first. I knew that she might feel uncomfortable now, so I tried very hard to be easy on her. Slowly, very slowly, we moved together until I was completely inside her. Her body pulsed around me, and she quivered.

“I’m good,” she said, nodding for emphasis.

Keeping her hands above us, I moved much faster, garnering grunts and curses from her. I guess she missed it as much as I had.

Stilling my hips and pulling out halfway, I leaned back on my knees and used my fingers to work her up into a frenzy and over the edge. Only once her orgasm took over and her legs trembled did I resume my pace, gripping her hips roughly until I came harshly.

I traced my fingers over her skin as we lay there collecting our breaths. Her body bore the marks of pregnancy and birth, and I loved it all the more for it. She’d given me a beautiful son, and he was happy and healthy.

“I need to pump before I sleep or I’ll be miserable in a few hours.”

I got up and handed her the bag, and she disappeared into the bathroom. I settled for cleaning up with a few tissues while I waited, hearing the water running in the tub. I left her alone while I watched some crap on TV.

She looked freshly showered when she came out wrapped in a robe, and I watched her store the bottles of milk in the fridge. I kissed her as I passed her and went to take a shower.

Things had changed, that was for sure. We had to adapt and adjust, but we weren't any different than other couples with kids. I was grateful for the time to be with her in any capacity.

When I came back out, she was naked in the bed. “Now is your only chance to touch them before they fill back up.”

I clapped my hands to make her giggle, then dove in for round two before she had to hide the puppies again.

We both slept like the dead for the first time in months, only waking when the alarm went off an hour before a late check out. Bella pumped on the bed while I ordered brunch from room service. We had just enough time to eat and dress before we had to be downstairs.

Mom met us at the door with Gavin, who waved his arms and showed us his gums. Bella immediately scooped him up and cooed at him.

“Thank you so much, Mom.” I hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. “That was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in months.”

“He was up every three to four hours, Bella, just like you said he would be. He has one bottle left.” She looked at her watch. “It’s been about two and a half hours if you want to try feeding him.”

Bella walked over to my mom and gave her a one-armed hug with the baby between them. Bella dropped her head on Mom’s shoulder and sighed. “I can’t even repay you. Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure. You know I wouldn't mind watching him once a month.”

We sat in the kitchen together for a bit until Gavin started fussing. I held him, kissing his downy head and smiling at him while Bella got comfortable to feed him. I loved watching them.

Mom busied herself at the counter making lunch. Bella wasn't too shy about breastfeeding in front of people, but I figured Mom thought it was respectful not to watch her.

I made a grab for the hand that he stuck in the air, pleased when he wrapped his fist around my finger.

“I love you both,” I said quietly.

She grinned and leaned forward for a kiss. “And we love you.”

I sometimes couldn't believe the differences in Bella from the day I met her until now. From a hard, cold woman just trying to survive by any means necessary in a world with the deck stacked against her, to the soft and generous woman who had breathed new life into me. She would likely have to work on her deep-seated issues for most, if not all, of the rest of her life, but we were both up for the challenge. She was worth it, and I was happy to be able to say that I knew I was worth it, too.