Everything was the same the next morning. I didn't know what I expected, but there was nothing dramatic going on at my humble ranch. The night had been difficult; I used to relish being alone, bask in it, even. Now it was lonely and strange. My bed was cold and I missed having Edward pressed up against me. The breakfast table was too quiet, the horses too solemn. Rusty wandered aimlessly, probably looking for his friend. His dark, droopy eyes looked up at me despondently.
“He’s gone, buddy,” I whispered in the pre-dawn light.
I’d gotten up entirely too early, but there was no use staying in bed when I wasn't sleeping. The sun hadn't quite breached the flat edge of the earth visible from my porch. I used to think that was the end of the world, right there at the edge of my fallow fields. Course, that was back when I had ridiculous thoughts and dreams, when I was a child with two parents and the universe at my fingertips.
Sighing, I moved on to the chickens, went through my routine and tried to push all thoughts from my mind. I had a few men coming today to interview for the position of ranch hand. I wasn't sure if I could sustain the salary required to keep someone out of poverty, but I was going to do my best to ensure that I continued making money. With what Michael and Jess were suggesting at their store, and if I could take the time to can and bake like I used to as a teenager, I would have a decent income from that. If I bought the electric butter churn, I could sell butter. That wasn't exactly scarce in our town, since every rancher around was smart enough to have their own dairy cows, but I could try going a town or two over. Emmett had been successful selling it at the auction with the steers.
Seth was the man I’d chosen to work for me, because he was about ten years older than me with a wife and children he was trying to support. His wife made quilts and sold them at craft fairs around the county. Seth had previously been a mechanic, but his right hand had been crushed in a freak accident involving a friend’s car falling on him while he did him a favor. Seth had been out of work for too long and unable to find a repair shop of any kind to hire him, so he’d decided to answer my ad. I was grateful he did. His personality was light and happy, and he worked hard. Occasionally he required help with opening anything smaller than a doorknob; his hand was still healing. Other than that, he was quick to jump into work and didn't need me to follow him around making sure he did what I asked.
It started growing colder on my piece of the prairie, my breath revealed with each exhale in the mornings. Since I insisted on feeding my animals before myself, Seth usually arrived while I was finishing up my breakfast. I’d argued with him over it, insisted he come a little later, but in his subtle way he’d ended the conversation with a nod of acquiescence and simply showed up at the same time the next day. I’d taken to drinking the last of my coffee on the porch swing as Seth moved around in my peripheral vision, collecting eggs and storing them, moving in and out of the horse barn to work on their stalls and check on Lucy. I enjoyed taking her out to check on the property and give her exercise. Seth seemed to take to Maria quickly, which was interesting to me since she was not typically friendly to strangers.
That just reminded me of Edward, and the way we’d ridden together on Lucy and Maria. I hadn't wanted to scare him with cantankerous Maria and gave him gentle Lucy instead. She was the perfect horse for his nature and she would give me a little one of hers… eventually. It would feel like a lifetime had passed by the time she birthed that foal. I had too much of the future to worry on, to plan and work through, to let the gnawing anxiety over Edward bug me for too long. I pushed him aside during the daylight hours, only to bring him out like my favorite book in the late evenings when I was completely exhausted but unable to sleep. That was when I would picture his sweet smile and those green eyes that looked at me as though he could read my thoughts. His soft hands that first day when I had to bandage the chicken pecks that quickly turned callused and rough under daily labor. I thought about the things we’d learned together in my bed, the way the ridges on his fingertips made me feel things I’d never known possible. His face was etched in my memory, and I could sigh over his handsomeness whenever I wanted. It was probably pathetic, but it sustained me on those long, lonely nights.
The colors around me were subtly changing. The trees were going from green to golds and burgundies, the fields were all honeyed and waiting for their next planting. Apples were abundant, and Seth and I picked them every day. I cooked more than I had in a long time. At Seth’s suggestion, I’d gotten a few crock pots to cook my apples in to make it easier for me. I didn't have to keep an eagle eye on them and worry they would burn. My corn was done growing for the season, but I had plenty canned. I had a small field of winter squashes that were getting round and fat for me to harvest in the next month or so.
Life moved on.
I went to church with Jess and Mike and their children. I didn't feel moved by the Holy Spirit or whatever I was supposed to feel. God had forsaken me a long time ago as far as I was concerned, but I was interested in finding peace and a relationship with Him again. It would take time.
After church was social time for the Newton’s. They typically made a huge lunch and had an open invitation to whoever wanted to join them. Rose and Emmett often showed up, as well as Jasper and Alice. Jasper—who once intimidated me with keen eyes that followed me around—was becoming a close friend. He was quiet, observant, and one afternoon I spilled my feelings for Edward. In his laid back style, he told me it made perfect sense to him that I would feel the need to let Edward go back to his own life. Jasper didn't pry into anything about what I’d done with Edward over the summer, just assured me that I was not crazy for missing him.
Seth and his wife, Vera, visited my house one Sunday. She was shorter than I was, with abundant curves and a loving personality. She immediately offered me a quilt at no charge and told me she tended to keep some in the trunk of her car if I wanted to peruse them. She thanked me for hiring Seth when nobody else would and ignored my attempts to tell her I was the lucky one. I liked her immensely, even though she was a bit loud. They had a boy, Eric, who appeared to be around ten years old, and a girl named Emily that was about six. Vera confided in me that she was expecting again and was planning how to tell Seth that she wasn't going through menopause but pregnancy. She laughingly said she needed help with another E name, because Earnest was out of the picture.
Building relationships, enjoying my free time, and creating a small business for myself was bittersweet. I wanted to share my joys with Edward, big and small. I wanted to complain a little when my back hurt, to tell him the ornery chicken that kept pecking him had died. My highs and lows were going unshared, uncelebrated. It was lonely, but I was still happier than I had been in fifteen years. I was living the life I thought I would live after my husband passed away, and I couldn't complain about that. Fond memories were just that, memories. I wouldn't disrupt my life over memories of the best summer of my life.
I was feeding the dog his dinner when I heard a car come down the road. The overgrown hedgerows hid what was coming, and the sun was still bright as it set, causing me to shade my eyes with my hand. Seth came to stand near me as the car turned down my driveway.
“Were you expectin’ anybody, Miss Bella?” he asked.
“No,” I said quietly, too afraid to hope.
We stood still as the dust kicked up and obscured the driver, but I finally saw that it was a yellow cab. My heartrate picked up speed and my breathing accelerated. I blindly thrust out a hand and grabbed the nearest porch rail.
“No,” I breathed, this time in disbelief.
I was still standing there when he stepped out of the taxi and handed the driver a wad of cash. He walked toward the porch with his bag thrown over his shoulder, and my hand covered my mouth as the tears poured down my face. His red hair was blowing in the wind, just a tad too long on the top. His lean body was clad in jeans and a long sleeved shirt that hugged his muscles. He was coming closer to the house, closer to me, and I knew with sudden clarity that he had chosen me.
I rushed down the steps and slammed into him before he took another step, and he dropped his bag to wrap his arms around me as he lifted me off the ground and laughed as he spun us round and round.
“Oh, Edward. You came back!” A lifetime of weight fell off my shoulders as his scent overwhelmed me, the feel of his arms enveloped me, and I knew that he would never leave again.
“I came back. I came back for you, and for the ranch.” He stopped spinning and kissed me. “I love you, Bella, and I hope you love me, too.”
“I love you so much,” I admitted in a choked voice. “I've been dying without you.”
“I know the feeling,” he murmured, kissing me again. He looked up. “Is that the new hand?” He lifted his chin toward Seth.
“Yes. He has a wife and two kids that live in town. His name is Seth, and he’s the only thing that’s kept me sane these past two months.”
“I'm glad you got a good one,” he admitted, smiling as he looked into my eyes.
“Oh, you have no idea how much I missed you.” I buried my face in his neck, my favorite place to be, and I finally felt calm.
He replied, “I found my home in the last place I expected; on fifteen hundred acres in the middle of nowhere, Oklahoma. With you.”
My head was floating away, so light and happy with the way I was feeling. I needed to show him the changes I’d made, tell him of the things I’d been doing and the people I’d met. I needed him to see Rusty, to see Lucy, but not one of those things mattered right then and there. I looked up into his eyes, saw the love I’d never allowed myself to witness before, and grinned.
“Seth, you can go ahead and take off.”
He laughed loudly, and I blushed but didn't care. Edward chuckled and kissed the tip of my nose.
“I’ll happily meet your young man tomorrow, but not too early,” he assured me as he ambled toward his truck.
“I love him already,” Edward whispered in my ear as he leaned down and took a deep breath in. “You smell the same, but more cinnamony.”
“I’ve been baking all day. Oh, I have so many things to tell you.”
“So do I.” His lips touched the side of my neck and I felt my insides clench in response. “Later, though.”
“Much later,” I huffed out as I went breathless.
The trip into the house was full of stumbling as we tried to maneuver the steps and the door. I laughed as I bumped into the doorframe and Rusty pushed past my feet to get to his bowl. Edward’s mouth never left my skin, kissing any place he could find uncovered by my sweater. As soon as the front door closed, I attacked the waistband of his jeans, fumbling for the button and zipper. He tripped over the edge of the rug when I pushed my hands into the open placket and wrapped my hands around him.
“Fuck.”
I loved when he talked dirty, and it was only when I was touching him that I saw that side of him. “Edward,” I moaned when his palm found my breast. “God, this sweater needs to go,” I grumbled, pulling back and yanking it off.
He gave me a funny smile and smoothed a hand down my braid. “It was beautiful on you. Anything you wear is beautiful.” His deft hands unclasped my bra and dropped it on the floor of the living room as he backed me to the kitchen. “You’re so much more beautiful without any clothes on.”
My temperature surely rose another hundred degrees at his words and the look on his face. His jeans were riding low on his hips, and I got a good look at the trail of hair that ran down from his navel. “Naked, Edward. Now,” I demanded.
His smile turned into a smirk as he pulled his shirt off and kicked out of his shoes. We were continuously moving, my small house feeling like a mansion as it took entirely too long to reach my bedroom. I would just jump him in my kitchen, but I had pies and jars sitting around that I didn't want to ruin. We went past the back door where my shoes were dumped, down the short hall where we both dropped our pants, and finally into my room where our underwear was kicked to the side. I didn't even look at what I grasped, I simply touched Edward everywhere while I stared into the deep green eyes I thought I’d never see again. His hands kept stroking down my hair, pulling out the band I’d tied my braid with and messing it up. I knew he loved my hair, and something about that turned me on more.
Like I could possibly have been turned on more just then.
Edward’s hands cupped my backside as I bumped into the bed, and we fell together to the mattress. My legs went around his waist and he sank inside me with nothing else stopping us. His forehead fell to mine as we both moaned, and I held him so tightly to me that I wasn't able to breathe fully. Tears of happiness leaked from the corners of my eyes as he moved, thrusting smoothly in and out of my body. Pleasure that not even an hour ago would I have ever expected to experience again hit me hard, and I cried out against his shoulder. My mouth latched on to that spot, kissing and sucking and wishing I could truly bring him inside myself and never let him go.
It didn't take him long to come, pressing his hips into mine and holding himself up on his arms. I pulled on his shoulders until he sprawled on top of me, and I enjoyed the feel of his weight.
“Are you sure I’m not crushing you?” His breath ruffled my tangled hair as he spoke against my head.
I hummed and ran my hands down his back. “In the best way.”
Edward breathed heavily for a minute before shifting off of me and plopping next to me on the bed. We weren't even halfway up from the bottom, so when I stretched my legs out they dangled over the end.
“I’m staying,” he declared with defiance as he stared at me intently.
“Please do. I’d hate to think you travelled all this way to hit it and quit it.”
He laughed loudly, shaking the bed. “I missed you so damn much.”
I scooted closer, kissing his cheek. “I know. I missed you, too.”
His eyes closed and his breathing slowed, and I wondered how long he’d been awake or if he'd become an insomniac like me. I crawled off the bed to clean up in the bathroom and returned to find him frowning in his sleep. I hadn't thought it possible for my heart to fill with any more love for him, but it did. Edward was here to stay, and anything other than that could be worked out later. I pulled one of Vera’s quilts from the chest at the foot of the bed and draped it over him, then climbed underneath and tucked myself as closely to his warm body as I physically could. I watched his brow smooth out as I cuddled in close, and let sleep claim me.
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