Usually, I hold the power with both my hands tied behind my back
You’ve awoken me, but you’re choking me
Gave you all of me, and now honestly, I got nothing left
You are the fire, I’m gasoline
Knew we would crash at the speed that we were going
Didn’t care if the explosion ruined me
~Charlie Puth, Dangerously
When it all went to shit.
Bella was different in the morning. Gone was the vulnerable girl that had been abused the night before, treated like trash by a man that had no morals, no scruples. In her place was bitchy Bella, the one that masked her pain behind sarcasm and harsh words. If she was hurting, we were all hurting.
We fought when I asked what she wanted for breakfast, over what was on the television, and whose car I was using. She was pissed when I came back from collections, like I was supposed to hang out somewhere else when I was done ‘working’. Then she yelled at me when I made something for dinner without asking what she wanted, despite the yelling she'd done over breakfast. She was giving me whiplash.
She had plans she wasn't sharing with me, I could tell. “Bella, I know you're up to something. You've been on your phone all day long, and you’re late for work.”
“I quit last night. Rather, Felix quit for me. He told Emmett I wouldn't be back and that if he had a problem with that he could take it up with Carlisle.” She didn't even look up at me from her phone.
“Instagram that enjoyable today?”
“Fuck off. I’m not on social media. That’s one good way of getting caught.”
“So no pictures of unicorns and sparkly drinks as your profile picture to hide the leather pants and weapons cache?”
She threw a pillow at me. I smirked and went back to ignoring her. There was a game on TV that I wasn't really paying attention to, but the clock on the wall had my attention. Bella was past time for her shift, and despite what she thought about quitting, Emmett didn't take kindly to that shit. He made all the rules as far as he was concerned.
Suddenly Bella sat upright from her slouched position on the couch. “Yes,” she said under her breath.
“Pinning s’mores recipes?”
Ignoring me, she got up and went into her room and slammed the door behind her. Her eyes never left her screen.
I stood and paced, not liking the feeling I was getting from her. Something wasn't right, but I didn't know what. There had been chatter on the street today while I was making the rounds, and Jasper claimed he was coming with me tomorrow to speak to some trouble makers. I didn't know what that meant, but I didn't like it. Something was off, but all I could do about it was wait and see.
I’d picked up two new junk phones this morning, one to use to send a message to my boss and then chuck in the trash, and a new one to carry around. I didn't like feeling like my shit could be bugged. I sent Jake a text early this morning regarding Bella and Emmett, and the response was the same as always. Sit tight, don't reveal your cover.
My fist found its way into my opposite palm. I wanted to punch the wall, or better yet, Emmett’s fat face, but I couldn't. I had to cool it around him and not let him see how affected I was by him. Similar to Bella, I couldn't afford to let him see me slip up. I couldn't let my guard down or change my demeanor.
Bella came out of her room fully dressed in head to toe black.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I demanded.
“None of your concern,” she answered, pulling on a beanie and heading to the door.
“You don't make a very convincing cat burglar.”
“Shut the fuck up, Masen. I’m going out. Don't wait up.”
“Yeah, I figured as much. Don't get yourself killed.” I watched her pause at the door, like she was thinking over something.
“I have back up this time,” was all she said before she left.
Pacing was getting me nowhere. I wasn't sure how to find out what she was up to, short of tailing her. I was pretty positive whoever her back up was would spot me a mile away. I was not going to participate in another murder, so that was out. I could report her ass to Jake, but I had nothing to go on, not even a location. I thought she originally planned to lay low on the brothers until the shitstorm surrounding Jimmy died down, and so far that was all I was hearing about on the streets.
When pacing got me nowhere, I called Black. He didn't answer, but I left him another message. This was crap, this waiting and not making any moves. I needed to do something, to help take those piece of shit brothers out of this world. They didn't deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of civilization. Incarceration would be too good for them, waiting for appeal after appeal until their undoubtedly smarmy lawyer got them off on a technicality.
My pacing and brooding was burning a hole in the carpet and in my brain. I needed an outlet, and I needed one fast. I changed into workout clothes and went to the gym in the basement. I abused the hell out of the punching bag and ran on the treadmill until my legs burned and my lungs heaved. All I could picture was Bella shot dead in a dank warehouse. When I couldn't keep going without injuring myself, I went back upstairs and showered off the sweat, wishing my stress would go down the drain with it.
I had just finished dressing when there was a pounding on the door. Bella wouldn't cause that much ruckus, and she had a key. I was in cut off sweatpants, so I tucked my weapon in my pocket and went to see who was trying to break down the door.
I sighed heavily when I checked the doorscope. Emmett.
“Why are you beating on my door?” I demanded as I opened it.
He pushed past me, which was basically what I was expecting. “Where the fuck is that twat? She didn't show up to work.”
I breathed out loudly through my nose as I turned to face him standing in my living room. “Really? She left here on time."
“Sure. There's no way you'd be covering for her.”
I swept my arm out game-show-hostess style. “That's her bedroom. Don't forget to look between the mattresses. You never know where she could be hiding.”
My sarcasm seemed lost on him as he stormed into her room. There was a bit of banging around before he reappeared. “What is your deal with her? You two fuck buddies?”
I snorted. “Nah, man. She's a cold fish. She's bitchy and not the best roommate, but I felt bad for her sob story so now I'm stuck with her.”
Emmett looked around the main area without responding to my statement. He paced a bit before coming to a stop in front of me. “I got respect for you, Di Stefano, but that cunt is costing me money. She's the most popular dancer I have, and ever since you showed up, she's not willing to get naked or give lap dances. She doesn't work her shit like she should and I gotta hear complaints. I don't like it.”
I stared in silence. I was waiting for a relevant point.
“So if you're bumpin’ uglies and that's why she thinks she's special now, that shit has to stop. Used to be the right price would convince her to spread her legs for certain customers, now she turns them all down.”
My pulse beat heavy and thick in my veins. I doubted she'd ever been a willing participant in the scenario he painted. “I dunno, she doesn't share her secrets with me. She brings random strangers home, but not all the time.”
He watched me watching him, and I didn't think he believed me. “See, you have certain favor with my pops, and I admit being impressed when you took out Biers. But my bottom line means more to me than anything else, and you're fucking with that.”
I didn't know if I should remain stoic or tell him he was full of shit. He made an ass-ton of money off that club and the drug deals he made. Bella's intake couldn't be enough to make a difference. “You're wrong.”
“I don't think I am.”
“I don't care what you think. It's time for you to leave.”
Emmett was toe to toe with me before I could blink. It rankled that I had to tilt my head back to look him in the eye, even if it was only a little. “You make sure that my whore is at work tomorrow night, you feel me?”
I knew it was a bad idea even as it was happening, but I was beyond reason as I heard him call her that vile name again. My Glock was in his face and my finger on the trigger before either of us had taken a breath. “I suggest you get the fuck outta my house now.”
He seethed, his barrel chest heaving as his eyes showed recognition of his loss. He wouldn't win this fight, not tonight. “You're gonna regret that,” he warned me as he backed to the door.
I already do. I stood silently as he felt for the doorknob and slowly slipped through the opening he created. My arm never so much as trembled. I turned the bolt when the door was closed and then banged my forehead repeatedly on the solid wood.
It was another hour before I heard the lock turn again. By then I was in a full on brood, sitting in the armchair with my gun in my lap and the bottle dangling from my hand. I'd drained most of a bottle of tequila. It tasted like shit but it did the job.
She looked the same, was all I could think as Bella appeared in front of me. No blood, no broken bones. Anger quickly replaced my worry. “Where the fuck have you been?”
She lifted an eyebrow and cocked out a hip. “And why the hell would that be any of your business?”
“I'm trying to keep the both of us from getting killed, goddammit! It's entirely my business where you go at night dressed up like you plan to break and enter at the least and murder somebody at the most!”
I saw by her expression that she wasn't going to make this easy for me. “You have some fucking nerve, Jesus! I've been doing this shit since before you came along, and I'll be doing it long after you ride your white horse into the sunset. Well guess what? Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.”
I had to squash the urge to strangle her. Her cheeks were bright red, her eyes huge in her face. She was indignant and on the defensive, but I didn't care. “You have to play it smart. You can't fly off the handle because someone pissed you off.” A drunken laugh escaped me at that. Like I had room to talk. “You can't act like nothing is my business when I've done everything backwards, bent myself over backwards, to help you. I've broken the fucking law for you, so don't stand there and say it's not my goddamn business. It's all my fucking business!” All the fear and frustration came pouring out of me, and I didn't let her get in a word. “Where do you think this is going after I turn in my case, Bella? Do you think I'm going to turn a blind eye to what you're doing? Do you think the bureau will? You're fucking delusional if that's really what you think will happen.” Placing my gun on the side table, I stood up and towered over her, not giving her an inch to move. The tequila was still in my hand, and I took a long swallow.
She shoved me away, clearly pissed. “I'll tell you who's delusional, Edward Masen. It's you.” She stalked past me to the kitchen, yanking open the refrigerator door and pulling out a bottle of water.
“Please, enlighten me as to how that's possible.”
Spinning to face me, she glared her hatred in my direction. “You see every damn thing as cut and dried, black and white. Let me clue you in on the multitude of grays, dickhead. You're not walking away scot-free. It's just not happening. You're facing multiple sanctions, possible firing, and maybe even a prison cell to call your own!”
“Do you think I don't know that?” I shouted, scrubbing my hand through my hair. “What was all that talk about how you were covering my ass as much as your own, princess? Who the fuck put me in the position to be in so much trouble, huh?”
“You were eager to help, knowing you could get in my pants if you did what I wanted.” With that callous statement, she unscrewed the lid to her water and gulped it down. There were scratches on her throat, dirt and healing bruises marring the ivory skin of her neck. My protective side reared up. It didn't matter how pissed off I was, I still cared about her.
“What the hell happened?” I narrowed my eyes as I watched her eyes go from angry to guarded.
“Nothing. I was scouting some locations, that's all. And I wasn't alone, so keep your panties out of their perpetual twist.”
“Like that somehow makes it safer.” The island separated us, but there was that urge to reach over and do bodily harm for her recklessness. “Were you seen? Do you know where the boys were tonight? Can the person that went with you be trusted?”
“I get it, okay? You think I'm a useful idiot. Just because I'm young and impulsive doesn't mean I'm stupid!”
I rolled my eyes. “But you sure as hell are dramatic.”
“Oh my God! No, I wasn't seen, the boys were with daddy dearest, and yes, Garrett can be trusted. Happy?” she finished sarcastically.
“Yeah, ecstatic. No, I'm not going to be happy until this job is over and I can put this nightmare behind me.”
The hurt was instantaneous on her face, but I wasn't going to take it back. She'd made her feelings clear plenty of times, and I was being honest. My sanity was hanging on by a thread.
“Emmett was here tonight, threatening me and you. You have no clue of their movements, despite what you think. If he was here, where was Jasper?”
I could see it on her face the minute she realized she'd been dangerously wrong. Instead of asking me about it, she slammed her way into her bedroom, and I fisted my hands in my hair before giving up and going to my own room. I locked the door, not because I thought she couldn't pick the lock, but because the message would be clear on the off chance she tried to come in my room.
I didn't want her to try to distract me or herself from the fact that she had truly fucked up tonight, whatever it was she did. Her attempts at using sex as a distraction were over. Everything was going to shit, and I just wished the shit would hit the proverbial fan, so we could put this case to bed.
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