I am clearly broken and no one knows what to do
Itching is the pulse inside creeping out to come alive
Times are looking grim these days
Tortured by my memories of what I left behind
~Korn, Get Up
The exact moment I realized the end of this case would break me.
I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, surveying the areas of the apartment I could see from the foyer. It looked like Bella had been watching TV, but it was turned off. There was a glass and a plate on the coffee table, and her favorite blanket was left haphazardly on the end of the couch she’d claimed as her own.
“Bella,” I called into the echoing emptiness.
There was no response, so I shrugged out of my coat and set the bottle of scotch on the hall table. I glanced at the open kitchen as I passed it, finding broken glass on the island and the floor. Intrigued and a little worried, I continued to her bedroom, pausing at the partially open door. I heard the distinct sound of crying and pushed the door open the rest of the way to see Bella on her bed with her phone in her lap.
“Bella?”
She looked up, her face red and tears falling. She sniffed. “I had a fight with Carlisle. He's disappointed in me.”
I sat beside her on the bed, watching her face crumble. “Why would he be disappointed in you?”
She pushed at the hair that had fallen in her face. It looked like she’d put it up in a ponytail at some point, but now it was sagging around her shoulders. “He knows what I did, and he told me I’m better than that. I told him it was exactly what I’d been raised to do.”
“You told him you were responsible for Riley?” A vein in the side of my neck throbbed; probably thinking about how easily one of the Cullens could slice through it and end me.
“No, he just knew. He assured me that Emmett and Jasper believe that you did it, but he knew Riley better than those two. Carlisle knows that even though Riley wasn't the smartest, he never would have let you into his private office. I told him I needed to get you into Emmett’s inner circle, and this was the only way I could think of.”
The whole time she’d been staring straight ahead, and now she rested her head on my shoulder. My arm came around her. “So Carlisle has a conscience.”
“He does. He’s been looking for ways to get out of this life, but he can't leave those boys of his in charge. They’d burn the city to the ground.”
“Sounds to me like he’s letting you do the dirty work by taking them out. So why does he care about you taking out Riley?”
She sighed and shifted so that her whole leg was rubbing against mine. “If I’d let Riley kill Emmett, it would have been two less murders on my slate.”
I could see Carlisle’s point to an extent. Still, he’d murdered before, and he’d given her his blessing to kill his own sons. “So he’s okay with you killing his boys because they’re bad seeds, but he wanted you to let Riley slip by? And he killed your father’s lawyer just last year. He’s a hypocrite.”
“Maybe he is. That’s what we argued about. If he won't clean up the mess, then I will. It's just that he's a father figure to me, and it hurts when he’s upset with me.” She sniffed again.
I thought about what I had to tell her and what Carlisle’s reaction to her plans would be. “So, I have some news for you.”
Bella sat up straight and turned to look me in the eyes. “Did you hear something?”
I snorted. “I more than heard something, doe eyes.”
“Well, what is it?” She pushed on my shoulder like she was a little girl hearing about a new dress or a Christmas gift.
“Jimmy. You know him?”
She narrowed her eyes. “Greasy Thumb, they call him. Yeah, I know who you mean. He’s the guy that somehow never gets bumped, despite the number of times he’s been caught skimming. I think they call him greasy because of that hair and because he slips through punishment.”
“Well.” I stood up, unable to take being still, and started to pace. “After Carlisle left Façade, this guy sits at my table and starts in on me. I’m close to the Cullens, I’ve been promoted, whatever. He says he’s done the most for the brothers out of anybody, but they overlook it and him, never promoting him. He can't do anything about it, because he can’t exactly go crowing about what he did.”
“Oh my God!”
I could tell it had clicked for her. “Yes.”
She stood as well, dropping her phone on the floor and grabbing my hand as she practically jumped up and down. “Did he say it out loud?”
“He did.”
She stopped moving, and I saw tears filling her eyes. “What did he say?”
“He said he did the Swan and got the cygnet as a bonus.”
Her hands covered her face and she started sobbing. Unsure of what else to do, I wrapped my arms around her and held on while she cried. A few minutes passed before she looked up at me, the sorrow and loss clear in her eyes. This was the vulnerable side she never let me or anyone else see.
“So callous as he discusses my father’s death. It was a notch on his belt, and he thought it would get him notoriety and a huge windfall. Too bad he didn't realize that betraying the Boss wouldn't truly grant him any favors with those two. They’re backstabbing liars only concerned with lining their own pockets. He’s going to be first. Then I just have to decide which brother goes next.” I watched calmly as she paced, then came to a stop in front of me. “You know I have to do it,” she said, her voice pleading with me to understand. She had three men on her hit list, and she would accomplish her mission before I would turn in my case.
“I know.”
“You’re going to hate me when it’s all over, aren't you?”
I had no answer without putting all my cards on the table. I saw her humanity, saw the parts of her that the Family and her life had buried deeply. She had to toughen up and be the bad bitch masquerading as a poor little stripper. She had to avenge her father’s death, and that meant taking three lives.
At my lack of answer, Bella whimpered and stood on her toes, kissing me tenderly. She’d never shown any emotion other than lust when we were together, and I closed my eyes and turned off the over-thinking part of my brain. Fire rose through me, starting in my fingers as I gripped her ass tightly to me. It reached my chest and practically exploded outward at the same time she moved to cup my junk. And then I was a flaming ball of need.
“Bella.”
She didn't respond, moving away just enough to pull her shirt off. Her bare breasts were like magnets, and my hands immediately touched them. Her head fell back as I molded my palms to her warm flesh, rubbing her nipples with my thumbs and causing her to give a guttural moan. She slipped off her shorts and underwear as she watched me watching her, and my hands went back to their exploration of her tits, the blue veins standing out against the paleness of her flesh. My heart was pounding in my ears and I couldn't help but bend around her to take a nipple into my mouth. I squeezed her ass cheeks as I held her close enough to taste, to devour and tease.
Her insistent hands on my waistband brought me to my senses enough that I helped her remove all of my clothes. She took my hand and pulled me to her bed with no words spoken between us. When we were lying there next to each other, she became more like the Bella I knew. She pushed me back and started biting and sucking on my neck, my shoulder, my chest, and down to my stomach. My abs contracted as she nibbled and licked her way across them.
I couldn't take it anymore; I wanted things we’d never experienced together. Practically pushing her off of me, I threw her legs over my shoulders and began teasing her. I focused on her creamy thighs, though her wet pussy was staring me down. I knew what she wanted as her fingers tangled in my hair, but I might never get the chance to draw it out again, so I moved my mouth across her legs and up to her belly. I swirled my tongue just above her clit, laughing when she groaned in irritation. Her thighs tightened around my neck, and I shifted so I was holding her legs down.
“Let me,” I breathed across her skin, watching goosebumps rise.
“Fucking do it already, Masen.” Her voice was strained, her hands fisting the sheets.
“Okay.”
If she thought she was going to order me around, she was wrong. Sure, I touched her with my tongue, but I licked very slowly up her pussy, tasting her and watching her squirm. Slow circles of her clit alternating with lazy swipes of my tongue had her writhing and trying to buck her hips. When she reached for me, I grasped both her hands in mine and threaded our fingers together. Her legs fell to each side as I went back in with my tongue.
“Fuck.”
I hummed against her and she gasped. Deciding to be nicer, I used my teeth on her clit, which maybe wasn't very nice, since she screamed and almost crushed my head with her thighs.
“Again.” She was panting, her hands in mine clenched tight enough to turn our fingers white.
I did it again and she trembled, panting with need. That might have been my new favorite pastime, if she ever let me near her again. With a greedy tongue, I delved and swirled and flicked. I sucked and nibbled as she cried out and thrashed and her limbs quaked.
As she clenched and came, I levered myself up and slammed into her. My cock weeped at final victory, reveling in the way her muscles clamped down over me, caressing me.
“Oh, fuck, Edward.” She couldn't hold me tight enough as she clung to me, riding out her orgasm while I pumped furiously into her body. When I knew I couldn't last any longer, I found her with my fingers, wet and hot and slick as I rubbed her clit.
There was nothing coherent coming from either of our mouths by then. I decided to kiss her, knowing in my heart this was likely the last time we would be alone like this. I kissed her thoroughly, softly, slowly. When I couldn't breathe, I pulled away and buried my face in her neck, rolling to her side.
Bella’s breathing evened out, and I knew she’d had plenty of emotional upheaval for one day. I stared at her in the light from the lamp, at the crescent of lashes leaving shadows under her eyes, to the tangled hair trying to cling to the band she’d put it in. My heart clenched as it recognized what I’d been trying to avoid.
I loved Bella Swan, with all her craziness and lawlessness. She was imperfection, and I wanted her in a way I knew could never work out. I was supposed to call this case a success and turn them all in. I had all three Cullens on enough charges to put them away for life. I knew the identity of the person that murdered Charles Swan, and those that hired him for the job. I had enough, but I would keep it to myself as Bella went on a bloody rampage. I would step aside and turn a blind eye as she murdered in cold blood. Because I understood her need in a way I shouldn't, and because I would let her do what I knew I should stop, I had to walk away once and for all.
I would do it, even though I was afraid it would break me.
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