FAÇADE Chapter 24

My soul surrenders and you bring my heart to its knees

And I know it's wrong and I know it's right

Even if I try to win the fight, my heart would overrule my mind

I'm not strong enough to stay away

In your presence my heart knows no shame

~Apocalyptica, Not Strong Enough

When the carefully crafted life I’d built went to shit. Again.

Despite the fact that my life was coming together in a good way, I kept Bella at the back of my mind. Okay, sometimes she was squarely at the forefront. I wanted her, despite focusing on myself and my new achievements. In spite of my promise to myself to go back to Seattle to turn in my resignation personally, and to oversee the selling of my condo, I couldn't do it in the end. I stayed in Chicago and used my new business as an excuse, calling Jacob on the phone when my sixty days were up. He understood my position on the matter and accepted an email with my resignation. I’d left my official identification, badge, and service weapon behind while I was suspended, so there was nothing left for me in Seattle. I knew that it was a lie, of course; there was plenty left for me in Seattle, aside from the fact that I would have to attend Jasper’s hearing, and that’s why I hadn't been able to go back. If I went, I knew I would cave and try to see her and find out what she was up to, but I also knew she was no good for me. There were just some things you had to let go in life, and for me, it was her.

My mediation company, Masen Mediation and Arbitration Services, was growing. I’d scored a contract with a local business to assist in negotiations with their mergers and acquisitions of smaller entities. It was going to be profitable when they got around to sending someone my way. I’d seen a handful of Kate’s clients a few times each. One couple realized they wanted to reconcile after all, and went right back to Kate. One had gone through with the dissolution of their marriage with my ideas and suggestions to make sure each party received a fair deal, and the other was still in the middle of the mediation process.

True to their word, Katie and Maggie had joined me at the women’s shelter. I thought long and hard about going back to the victim’s advocates organization, but in the end I preferred donating money to their cause and referring pro bono attorneys when I came across them. The women and children at the shelter became a sort of secondary family to me. Occasionally they moved on, finding a relative to take them in, or even better was when they’d saved enough money to find a place of their own. Some of these women needed counselling, and Kate agreed to volunteer her time to give relief to the small number of counselors already on staff. Maggie was a real estate agent, and she threw her hat in the ring to helping women find good deals on rentals when the time came. Mom and Dad were talking about adding on to the shelter or finding a bigger location. Many of the women without children were sharing rooms, and they thought they had some ideas on how to fix that.

This facility was newly acquired, and I had yet to meet the founder of the charity. I heard that she opened it with money from an inheritance, and that the work they did there was close to her heart. There was a plaque in the family area to commemorate the opening with the name of the shelter on it, but the owner wasn't listed by name, just by initials. I wanted to meet her and congratulate her on doing a fine job for a first time foundation, but I hadn't had the chance. The women were happy, some of them for the first time in forever, and they were safe. Some of them had yet to bring themselves to speak to me or Dad, and those were the ones that broke my heart. To have been so abused in life that they couldn't even trust a male to be in the same room as them made me ache for their future.

I was working on reviewing my finances after the sale of my condo in Seattle, and I was leaning toward donating the entire amount my parents said it would cost to provide the shelter with a new wing for bedrooms. The old bedrooms would be converted into a play area after knocking down the dividing walls. Dad insisted that I shouldn't offer up so much money, and informed me he’d heard that the founder and the board of directors were going to hold a charity dinner and silent auction to raise the required funds. He’d been looking for builders to donate their time, but even so, the materials had to be paid for, and so did the permits through the city. I figured I could go to the dinner at the least, pay for a plate, and maybe bid on something frivolous to help out.

I hadn't found a place to live yet. I was still hanging out with good old Mom and Dad. Despite Maggie showing me several places that should have been perfect for me, I couldn't find the interest to give a damn about any of them. None of them felt right. They didn't say home to me when I walked in the door. I was content to stay with my parents for now, to run my business, and continue my charity work. Kate was expecting, no small feat for her, and she and Maggie wanted me to live nearby. It would be my greatest joy to be a full-time uncle, a small business owner, and to give of myself to charity. I was still paying penance. I understood in my heart that was what it was, but it felt good. Regardless of the reasons behind my decisions, they were right for me, and they were smart.

I pulled out the old tuxedo that I’d worn as best man in my sister’s wedding and took it to the dry cleaners for a freshening up. My mother was a fan of moth balls, and they didn't lend a clean and fresh smell to things. Maggie offered to set me up with someone she knew from work for this charity benefit thing, but I wasn't interested. I could admit to myself that it was because I harbored feelings for Bella, but I didn't have to say it out loud to my sister-in-law. I simply told her I was too busy to be interested in getting involved with a woman at that time. Maggie informed me that I was the talk of her office ever since she told her coworkers that she’d gotten involved in a women’s shelter with her wife and brother-in-law. Then questions about me had apparently abounded, where I had no doubt she exaggerated my attributes. Several women were disappointed that I wasn't looking for a date to the dinner, or anywhere else for that matter.

When the evening arrived, Dad escorted Mom to their car and I decided to drive separately. I had no idea when they’d be ready to go, and I didn't want to rely on them for a ride back home. I wasn't particularly interested in drinking, so I didn't need to worry about calling a cab, either. Mom looked lovely in her semi-formal dress, my dad in a tux very much like any other. I was proud of them for joining me in this new adventure, but also for embracing it much the same way I had done. They didn't have to go above and beyond and make plans to improve the facility, neither did they have to pay the price of the donation to attend this dinner when they already put in plenty of time and money. I realized as I slid into my Volvo that I was happy. I didn't have everything I wanted out of life, but I had more than some, and more than I’d expected to have when I was smack dab in the middle of the Cullen case. There came a point in time when I expected to be facing a prison sentence, so the life I was leading instead was a blessing.

Despite being held at the Four Seasons, the venue was not over the top. There was a valet, and there were women dressed a little too fancy for what the invitations called for, but overall it was classy and exactly what I expected. There was a long table—or more likely several tables pushed together—exhibiting the items available for the silent auction along one wall. There were round tables scattered throughout with tablecloths and small purple and white centerpieces. My parents entered the room just in front of me and accepted a card from the greeter. When I gave my name and proof that I’d paid, I was given a similar card.

“What’s this?” I asked Mom as I held up the cream-colored envelope.

She read over hers while I opened mine. “We have been invited to sit at a VIP table with several other major donors.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” I scanned the area for Kate and Maggie. “There are the girls,” I said, pointing at a rectangular table near the podium for Mom and Dad’s benefit. Kate’s dress was red and a little flowy, hiding her tiny baby bump. Maggie was dressed in midnight blue, sequins practically winking at me with the lights shining off them when she moved.

We made our way over to them, and Kate held up a place card from the table they were standing in front of. Honored Guest Katherine Masen-Clarke, it read. “I’m a very important person.”

I snickered at her. “Don't feel too impressed, because so am I.”

I glanced at the other place cards on the table, and saw that it was pretty much my family and myself. There was a name I didn't recognize, but then I recognized one name in the way that you recognize a brick smacking you in the face; it came on hard and painful. Honored Guest Felix Romanov.

“Edward?” Maggie asked, her hand on my forearm.

I looked up and blinked to clear the confusion and focus on her round face and red curls. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” Her voice was low and concerned. I chanced a flick of the eyes to Katie and saw that she was talking to our parents.

“Um, yeah. It’s just that I know that guy from Seattle.”

“Oh.” She frowned, and I didn't blame her for the confusion. So what if some guy I knew was there?

There was a tapping on a microphone, and everyone turned to face the podium. A man stood there, gray haired and formally dressed in his tux. “Ladies and gentlemen, please don't hesitate to bid on the silent auction items on display along the side of the room. Dinner will be served in approximately ten minutes.”

He walked away, to a hallway that led to a back area of the ballroom. I suddenly had a raging need to follow and see what was back there. I excused myself from my family, ignoring their questions about where I was going. The back area he’d disappeared to was the kitchen, judging by the smell of meat cooking and the noise level. There was wait staff and chefs, some in suits and dresses and so many freaking bodies that I couldn't tell who might be back there. A familiar tingling had begun low at the base of my spine, but it made no sense. I was all the way in Chicago fucking Illinois, not Washington State. There was no way in hell Felix Romanov should be here. There was no way in fucking hell he was here with Isabella goddamn Swan. No way in hell.

“Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served. If you would please take your seats.”

No. I wasn't ready to take my motherfucking seat. I wasn't ready to face that massive behemoth of a motherfucking bodyguard, to see if my intuition was correct. I was sure as hell not ready to face my family with what must be a crazed expression covering my face.

“Sir, are you lost?”

I looked down at the petite woman that had asked the question. No, I wasn't lost. At least I didn't think I was lost, but maybe I was found. Fuck, I wasn't even making sense in my own mind. I shook my confused head and made my way back to the ironically titled VIP table. Why was Felix a VIP? It didn't make any sense. As I rounded the corner to the main area with all the tables, I spotted someone else I recognized across the room. He was standing outside a closed door near the area with the podium, and I immediately froze. On instinct, my hand went to the service weapon I no longer carried and I cussed.

He must have spotted me as well, because he nodded almost imperceptibly. Tall as fuck, possibly taller than Felix, with coffee-colored skin and beefy arms crossed over his chest. His nickname in the Cullen Family mob was Titan. He was here, and Felix was sitting at our family table. That cursed buzzing ran up my spine in warning of something, but what, I wasn't sure. There shouldn't be any danger, even if for some reason Bella was there. Jacob promised to tell me if Jasper or Carlisle or any of the other more dangerous players made it out of prison, or if one of them made it known what my true identity was. Last I heard, Jasper and someone named Carmen had testified against Carlisle in the shooting death of Gianna. Carmen was a maid that had been let go because she became involved with Jasper. She corroborated Jasper’s claim that Carlisle shot Gianna in the study of their home after confronting her with her infidelity. It was ironic to me that he killed her for cheating, but continued to raise her bastards, never telling them who they were until the end.

I kept walking, dropping my gaze to the pattern on the slate blue carpet. Conversation flowed around me, but there was a swarm of bees in my ears. Possibly in my stomach, too, like I’d swallowed the hive and they were trying to escape. I sat, stony-faced and slightly nauseous. Kate spoke in my ear, but I couldn't piece together what she said. I picked up my water glass and drank deeply, watching the door that Titan was apparently guarding. I felt the presence of Felix down on the other side of my mother, the weight of his very existence heavy between my shoulder blades. His death-warmed-over voice was unmistakable as he spoke to her, and I wanted to grab her and snatch her up, haul her out of this room and away from the potential danger. I leaned forward far enough that I could see past her to his massive form and gave him a death glare. When he met my gaze, there was nothing but a serene passivity as he continued to converse with Mom like nothing was amiss.

I couldn't possibly have heard the door open from across the room over the din of the other attendees, but my head snapped in that direction as though it was the loudest sound in the building. It was her. She stole my attention and my breath, and all thoughts fled my brain as she stepped out in a glittering black dress and walked to the microphone.

She looked like walking sex, unsurprisingly. Fuck, the ungodly things I'd do to get stuck in a dark room with her. I wanted that deep red lipstick smeared all over my face… and other body parts.

Forgive me, father, for I must sin.

Yeah, I knew it was all about to go to shit again, but I couldn't quite find it in myself to care.