FAÇADE Chapter 27

I don't believe I'll fall from grace

Won't let the past decide my fate

Leave forgiveness in my wake

Take the love that I've embraced

Alive and burning brighter

~Halestorm, I Am The Fire

When we found our new normal.

Bella loved me. Felix had told me as much last night, but it was different hearing it from her mouth. Except that wasn't exactly what she’d said.

“You want to be mine?” My guard was still a little high, despite all the information she’d shared with me.

“Yes. I want to put everything that happened behind us and start again. I want to live here, and I want to be with you.”

“Bella, as far as I know you run a mafia family,” I said quietly.

She was shaking her head before I finished speaking. “I never officially took the reins. Carlisle was in charge publicly to cover for me, and he’s gone now. Nobody alive knows that I was ever the boss other than Jasper, Carlisle, and you. Jasper has gone a little far in his threats to the correctional officers and is enjoying most of his stay in the hole. Carlisle left for destinations unknown before I left Seattle, and as far as I know, you’re not going to tell anybody.”

“What happened to all the businesses owned by the Cullens? Did you have your hand in any of them?” I stirred my coffee and drank deeply from it. I hadn’t had enough sleep for this conversation.

“I wasn’t listed on any of the deeds, and I never ran day-to-day ops. That was left up to the boys or Carlisle. Besides, the FBI has seized all of those businesses.”

“Well, I did name as many of them as I could.” I smirked at her.

“Mm.” The little sound she made in her throat went straight to my cock. I watched her mouth as she bit into her toast, the way her tongue ran across her lips to catch any stray crumbs. I shifted in my seat and refocused on our conversation. There was still something bothering me.

“You haven't said anything compelling me to agree to what you’re suggesting.”

Bella dropped her toast on her plate and crossed her arms. Oh yeah, there was the Bella I knew. “What the hell does that mean?” Her voice was low and hiss-like.

I sat back against my chair and brought one foot up onto the opposite knee. I gave her a minute to stew, to see if she’d figure it out, but also because I enjoyed antagonizing her. That hadn't changed.

“Why are you just staring at me, Masen?”

“Oh, go ahead and call me Edward. I like the way it sounds when you say it.”

“What is all this smugness? What am I supposed to say to compel you?” She rolled her eyes when she said ‘compel’, and I grinned.

“If you don't know, if the words don't burn on your tongue because you’re leaving them unsaid, then I can’t help you. If you aren't thinking it twenty-four hours a day in the back of your mind, wondering if you’re crazy or if it’s completely rational, then you don't feel it and shouldn't speak it.”

I’d sat forward in the middle of my rant, and we were now as close together as we could be across the small table. There was a furrow between Bella’s brows, and her eyes were guarded. “Why do you have to torture me?”

I laughed. “And you didn't torture the hell out of me for nine goddamn months? Why should I give you any chances? What are you willing to do to show me you’ve changed?”

“For fuck’s sake, Edward, I came here to Chicago to be near you. I started the charity that was in the back of my mind for years in your hometown. It was my intent to come find you, and I had no idea that you’d inadvertently find me. I’ve stumbled over greetings in my head, trying to figure out how to approach you. I’ve envisioned walking up to you and having you be so glad to see me, you swept me off my feet.” She paused to wipe away a tear just under her lashes. “I know I’m naïve, but I thought you had feelings for me.”

“Now you want to talk feelings.”

“Yes, okay? I love you, Edward, and I thought that you at least felt for me one-tenth of what I feel for you. If I’m wrong, just say so.”

I sat back again with another big grin on my face. “In that case.”

“In that case, what?” Her face was adorable as she scrunched up her nose at me.

“In that case, I love you as well. I have for a stupidly long time. I was sure you hated me, based on the way you treated me.”

She dropped her head, her hair hiding her face. “I’m sorry for that.”

“Did you really just apologize? Bella Swan just admitted that she was wrong.” She grumbled something under her breath, but I didn't let it deter me. “All I wanted was to know your feelings without all the façades you normally use to cover up what’s real. I know you’re capable of love, I’ve seen it aimed at Carlisle, and even Felix. You built a family out of the friends you had, and that is more important to me than the other things you did.”

Bella looked up then, and there were more tears in her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t hate me for everything I’ve done?”

“I don’t hate you, no. I won’t put up with anything else even close to that ever again, but as long as you show me every day you’re over that life, we can move on. I’ve come a long way toward forgiving myself for the part I played, Bella. Penance is sometimes a good thing. You’ve spent a considerable amount of time on this charity, I just didn't realize it was you. You could have thrown money at a charity and never set foot in their doors, but you’re in the shelter every day. I hear the women talking about how great you are. I don't know how the hell I missed the fact that you were the founder.”

“I needed something too, some form of restitution. Something that made me feel like I wasn't the horrible person I’d convinced myself I was. All of my life I thought I wanted to run that damn Family. It was practically bred in me, to take Daddy’s company and make it something better. I wanted to clean it up, for the record, but I realized after I had what I’d worked for that I wasn't going to be happy still stuck in the mob. It’s not who I’m meant to be after all.”

“Where do we go from here?” I asked.

She sat back, swirling a spoon through her coffee without any enthusiasm. “I don’t know. I have to work to be honest with you, and not try to protect you or spare your feelings with lies and half-truths.”

“Did I really misunderstand you last night?”

“Yes.” She looked dead in my eyes as she answered. “I was trying to say that I wanted to talk to you, but that asking you up would be misconstrued, and then you did just that.”

“I apologize. I was treating you like the old Bella, when clearly you’ve changed in these past months.”

“Being alone will do that to you.”

I frowned as the waiter came back over. He took our mostly full plates and refilled our coffee at my request, leaving the bill and heading off again. I pulled out my wallet and dropped enough cash to cover our meager breakfast.

“But you had Felix, and apparently Titan.”

“I fired them both.”

My hand froze on its way to my cup. “What?”

“I was attempting to be noble, and let them out of that life. They'd been fortunate enough to not be charged with anything, and I wanted them to start over. So, yeah, I fired Lucas and Felix. They basically laughed at me. Felix told me he wasn't going anywhere, and there was no way I could convince him to leave my house. I threatened to call the police, and that worked. I guess he told Lucas I was serious, because he stopped coming around, too.”

“Wow, Bella.” I glanced over at the table where the two men were seated. They were sipping from mugs, and the waiter had cleared their table as well. They appeared to be having a conversation, and not watching us with an eagle eye like I thought they might. My coffee was hot enough to burn my tongue again, but I had more anyway as I turned my attention back to Bella. It was starting to work its magic on me, warming my veins. Or maybe that was the woman sitting across from me.

“I fired a bunch of people, anyone that hadn't been picked up or had been released. I was forcing their hands, hoping they’d choose a better life. Some did, but some went on to other families. They’ll be arrested soon, since I do believe the FBI is moving on those families and their connections after the info they’ve gleaned from Carlisle and surveillance.”

“So they followed you here?”

“Well, I asked them to come. I was getting tired of being alone. I asked them if they’d be willing to run the charity with me, be the start of the board of directors. They planned the function last night with very little input from me. I was spending time with a new resident; her boyfriend was so awful to her, and she’s terrified he’ll find her. The hospital recommended us when she was discharged.”

“So you had tweedledum and tweedledee plan a charity dinner by themselves? How did you know you wouldn't walk in here and find everything was camo, or all black or something?”

“I did at least give them parameters. They aren't neanderthals.”

“If you say so.” I stood then, and held my hand out to Bella. She frowned, but accepted my hand. “Do you want to take a walk, spend some time together? I can tell you about my new business, assuming you don't already know every detail through your hacking, and we can discuss the future of the charity.”

She smiled. “I think I would like that.”

Her hand was warm in mine, soft and smooth. I held it firmly while we passed Lucas and Felix, and I didn't bother looking at them to gauge their reaction. We took the elevator to the ground floor, and I spent the short ride rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand. The ding signaling our arrival actually surprised me because I was so focused on Bella.

The air was crisp, clearly moving into autumn, but it wasn't too bad. We started off down the sidewalk, passing several shops and turning left at the corner. Traffic, both vehicular and pedestrian, was heavy, loud. Not exactly conducive to talking. We walked a block and crossed the street, walked another block through construction dust, and crossed again. Ahead was a green space, a long line of blue rentable bicycles lined up like soldiers waiting for their orders.

“This is nice,” Bella commented as we walked toward a spindly gazebo. Lake Michigan was in the near distance, past zipping cars and the trees of the small park.

We didn't go far before sitting on a bench. I hadn't let go of her, and we rested our joined hands on her leg. “I was broken for a long time, Edward, I see that now. I’ve spent some time with the counselors at the shelter. Not your sister, of course. I just want you to know that I’m not broken anymore. I won't screw this up, at least not intentionally. I know I’ll make mistakes, but I’m working on stating my feelings and intentions instead of hiding or deflecting.”

I watched her profile as she stared at something in the distance. It was easier, I supposed, than admitting her flaws while looking at me. “Bella.” She turned to me, and her hair blew in the wind. She pulled it out of her face, and her doe eyes were swimming. “I believe you. I agree with you. I will make the same commitment you do, okay? If you’re in it, here with me, one hundred percent, then I can do the same for you. I don't expect perfection.”

Bella nodded and leaned forward hesitantly. She let go of my hand and slid hers up my arm and behind my shoulder. When she stopped at the nape of my neck, I thought she would try to kiss me, but instead she laid her head on my shoulder. It was nice. It was easy and comfortable, not forced or sexually charged. It felt normal, like our new normal.