If I can stop one heart
from breaking
I shall not live in vain;
from breaking
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
or cool one pain,
or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
unto his nest again,
unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
October 2008
A few weeks later, Edward invited all of us to come to his place for a get together. He wanted me and Jasper to meet his best friend Emmett and his wife Rosalie. Alice and Rose were already close, and Edward was hoping we could all get to be friends with each other. He'd already warned me that Rose came across as a mega bitch; she was tough as nails, and looked like a supermodel. Emmett, he said, was built like a linebacker but was really sweet and brotherly.
After I'd helped Edward set out the snacks, I went to stand at the windows overlooking the city where I could just make out Pioneer Place Park. I had not slept well the night before and I was exhausted. I watched the sun sink lower behind the skyline, the buildings awash in red-orange light. Edward walked up behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder and wrapping his arms around me.
"Thank you for helping," he said quietly in my ear. I loved the tenor of his voice, velvety and smooth.
"Of course," I answered automatically. I was more than worried about meeting Rosalie. Despite what Edward said about her being nice once you got to know her, I was afraid I'd be a shrinking violet and just piss her off. I didn't know what would happen if she didn't like me.
Edward turned me in his arms, kissing my lips sweetly before touching his forehead to mine. "Don't worry," he whispered, as though he could read my mind.
"How did you know?" I asked, pulling back to look at him.
"I can read your face fairly well, Bella." He ran a fingertip over the frown between my brows. "You're anxious, because you want to make a good impression. The only way to do that is to just be yourself. Be Bella, the way you are with me and Jasper and Alice. Remember how much we all like you." He smiled, reaching up to run his hand through his hair and tug on the ends.
The doorbell rang as he finished his little speech, and then it opened. "Hello, big brother!" I heard Alice's soprano voice.
"Alice, come on in. I assume you have Jasper in tow?" The two appeared around the wall that separated the rest of the loft from the kitchen. Alice set a bag down on the dining table before hugging her brother. Jasper came and hugged me tightly before ruffling my hair, then shook hands with Edward while Alice gave me a little one armed hug, not letting go.
"It's a beautiful view, isn't it?" she asked rhetorically. The lofts each took up a corner of the building, so there were two walls with windows, but I enjoyed the view from the dining and kitchen area the most, as it overlooked the entrance and afforded views of the historic park.
"Mm," I responded. Alice must have sensed the same mood in me as Edward had.
"Really, Rose is great. She's an ice queen at first, but Emmett is such a big lug that you won't even notice, and then she'll warm up and it'll be like you were always friends. Like us!" she squealed.
There was a minuscule nook in the corner of the kitchen, where Edward had squeezed a pair of armchairs with a throw rug and lamp. Alice led me to the chairs, sitting down with me and chattering in her usual way until I felt much more comfortable.
When Edward answered the door ten minutes later, my nerves kicked back in. I stood with Alice by the dining table as the biggest version of the Hulk I'd ever met came around the corner from the hallway. He had dark curly hair that he kept short and laughing blue eyes. There were muscles on top of his muscles, and he was taller than Edward by at least half a foot. I blinked to be sure I wasn't seeing things, and then his wife rounded the corner, her hand on Edward's shoulder.
"Relax," Jasper whispered from beside me. I did, but only a fraction. Alice danced to the blonde's side, and the two hugged.
All bets were off when she turned to me, and her eyes narrowed as she looked me over. I resisted the urge to squirm under her scrutiny. There was no doubt that she was perfect; tall, slender but with a substantial rack, long and thick blonde hair that I swear shimmered in the sunlight. Legs for days in tight jeans. Great for my self esteem.
Edward gestured in my direction. "Rosalie, Emmett, this is Bella." Emmett came forward and lifted me into a bear hug so hard I could hardly breathe.
"Edward's told us all about you!" Emmett boomed in my ear. I grasped his forearms, unsure of how to react. Rosalie looked annoyed, so of course I blushed.
Alice piped up, "And this is Jasper. He works with Bella, she introduced us." I watched as Emmett and Jasper shook hands. The men stood together, immediately falling into guy talk. It was so easy for them. Alice took my hand and Rosalie's, leading us to the other side of the room and the couches. She pulled me down to the couch with her, and Ice Queen took an armchair. Honestly, her hair gleamed when the light filtered through the window behind her.
"So, Rose works in fashion downtown, not that far from here really. She picks fabrics and notions, and sometimes they let her design things. She goes to all the great runway shows, and she lets me come all the time." Leave it to Alice to fill the silence.
"That sounds like a great job," I said quietly, and Blondie frowned. I hoped she got early wrinkles.
"And Bella and Jasper work at U Dub. Bella works in admissions, and Jasper does IT. He's really smart, it amazes me what he's capable of when he gets his hands on a computer. He's so cute, don't you think Rose? All long and lean. Smart and sexy. I got so lucky, thanks to Bella." Alice paused to take a breath. Rose still hadn't spoken.
"Who would like some drinks?" I heard from Edward across the room. I couldn't get to him fast enough. He looked at me carefully, then hugged me to his side. "You're doing fine," he whispered in my ear before kissing my temple. Jasper handed me a girly wine cooler, and I smirked. I didn't drink much, so I usually went for the lightweight stuff.
"Ice melts, Bella, if it's warm enough."
Emmett guffawed, "Well, no shit, man!" However, I knew that Jasper was giving me advice and comfort.
Alice and Rosalie were mixing drinks, so I went over there. "How long have you been married to Emmett, Rosalie?" I asked, using the warmest voice I could muster.
She looked at me, and I felt like she was analyzing my whole life in that long stare. Just when I thought she wasn't going to answer, she did. "Three years," she answered with a flip of her hair over her shoulder. Well, at least I'd gotten her to speak to me.
"I helped them plan their wedding," the determined pixie spoke up. "Mostly layout of the reception, and decorations. It's what my mom and I do. Interior design. If you ever agree to meet them," she rolled her eyes, and Rosalie scowled, "Mom can show you what we've done."
"I'd love to, Alice, soon," I promised. "Excuse me." I headed to the bathroom, and I heard Alice whispering behind me.
"Seriously, Rose. Give her a chance."
Well, at least I knew Alice would remain in my corner. I slid the old barn door closed behind me, taking a moment of sanctuary in Edward's huge white bathroom. I really just needed a minute to myself, to not have to pretend for anyone. I stood in front of the mirror and gave myself a full once over. I wasn't gorgeous, certainly not like Blonde Ambition. My long chestnut hair fell in gentle waves midway down my back, my eyes were close to the color of milk chocolate, and my skin was clear and pale. Of course, it was flushed now, as it often was in the company of pretty much anyone.
There was a knock on the door, and I turned around and slid it open. Jasper was there, a rueful smile on his face.
"Alice says Ed's last girlfriend was a real piece of work, and Rose has become very protective," he said softly. "They're like brother and sister."
I nodded. "Well, she'll never know I'm a decent human being if she doesn't give me a chance." We were talking quietly, since lofts didn't exactly afford much privacy.
"Her loss, Sugar. Come on, don't hide." He put his arm across my shoulders, leading me back to the rest of them. Edward looked up when he saw us, and smiled and held out his hand. I crossed the room and accepted his embrace.
"How do we know she's not boinking Jasper on the side and making fools out of them both?" I heard in an angry hiss. I stiffened in Edward's arms.
"Rosie, that's such a rude thing to say about someone you just met," I heard Emmett's bass in response. He was not capable of being quiet, I imagined.
"We've all just met her, that's my point."
"Well, Jasper's known her for years," Emmett tried.
"Exactly," Ice Bitch growled.
Wow.
"I don't understand why you hate me so much," I spoke up. Five heads turned in my direction, and I wished I'd kept my mouth shut. There was a reason I didn't do confrontations.
"Because I don't know you. I'm not going to stand by while another girlfriend treats Edward like shit." She was practically snarling now.
Face flaming, I folded my arms around my chest and tried not to squeak when I answered. I took a deep breath. "Well, I'd love to think I'm treating Edward very well, like he deserves."
"We'll see," she snapped. Emmett put his large hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off and glared at him. Well, at least it wasn't directed at me.
"Ah, hell, who'd like to get trashed?" Emmett yelled, causing everyone to laugh. Except me, and the guard dog.
I turned into Edward's embrace, remembering that he loved Emmett, and therefore his wife. I tried to remember that she was protecting him from nasty girlfriends, that it wasn't really personal. I failed.
Tears pricked my eyes, and I willed myself not to cry in front of everyone. I bit down on my lip to try to distract myself. Instead, Edward pulled my face to his and sucked my lower lip into his mouth, kissing me until I was breathless.
"I'm going to talk to her, love. I'll tell you later about she who shall not be named." He grinned crookedly at me, and I nodded. I still had to wipe at the corner of my eyes, but at least I wasn't blubbering. Alice came to stand with me, and I smiled at her gratefully.
"The last one was a ho, just saying. She snuck around on Edward, all the while telling him he wasn't good enough for her. He finally believed her, and he was miserable for awhile. She criticized every damn thing he did, to the point that he was no longer the Edward I grew up with. Then, he found her cheating on him. Moved into this place immediately after that. Said he couldn't go into his apartment and not visualize Tanya and that guy."
"Take a breath, Ali," I suggested.
She just shrugged. "When he tells you, it'll go easier if you have a heads up. Just please, don't ever tell him he's not good enough. I know he has his faults, just don't make him feel inadequate."
"Okay, Alice. I promise not to be mean to your brother. Who's perfect, by the way."
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." She smiled winningly, and I laughed. I gave her a hug and Emmett came over to join us.
"I'm sorry about my wife. She's a mama bear sometimes." If that was true, then he was a teddy bear.
"It's not your fault, Emmett." I couldn't think of anything nicer to say about the pit bull, so I left it at that.
Jasper, Alice, and Emmett kept me company while Edward and Rosalie talked in the bedroom area. It was only separated by a massive bookcase, so I could occasionally hear her snarling, but Edward's voice was full of quiet conviction. That pleased me immensely.
Blondie never did hang out with me, but she wasn't openly rude anymore either. The group only lasted a couple of hours before we dispersed. I was never happier to have a party end.
"Bella," Edward called from the bedroom after the last of our friends left.
"I'm here," I replied from the kitchen sink. I was rinsing the last of the glasses and placing them in the dishwasher.
He didn't reply, so I wound my way around the kitchen to the bookshelf, then around it to the bed. Which my sinful boyfriend was sprawled across, shirtless. He crooked a finger at me. Smiling, I jumped on him, then giggled as the bed bounced and he had to catch me to keep us from butting heads. I felt so much more relaxed without our day's company.
"I wanted to talk to you a little about my ex, Tanya," he said quietly. I sobered instantly. "She, uh... Well, she cheated on me. I cried on Emmett's shoulder enough that Rose got sick of me." He smiled halfheartedly.
"That's not funny, Edward." I ran my fingers through his hair. We were somewhat sprawled across the bed, the city lights shining in through the uncovered windows, and I shifted around until we were lined up next to each other.
"Okay, well. She was great at first. Supportive of my career, very flattering. She was, ah, I guess you could say. . ." he faltered.
"Gorgeous?" I offered. He growled.
"No," he said, shaking his head. "You are gorgeous, Bella. She was merely pretty." He framed my face with his hands, long fingers spreading into my hairline. "We were both shallow people; the difference was, when I was ready to grow up, she was infuriated. She became critical, of everything and everyone. She didn't want Rosalie and Emmett to come over. She didn't want me to spend time at my sister's. She wanted me all to herself. When I was home, nothing I did was right. It was very hard to live with."
"She-she lived with you?" I stuttered. My heart plummeted. Beautiful Tanya had lived with him.
He massaged above my ears. "Not really. I mean, she still had her own place, but she was over a lot. I began staying later at work to avoid her, but I kept thinking that I was the problem."
"You weren't," now it was my turn to growl.
He chuckled. "Well, it took me longer to figure that out. It took me walking into my apartment and finding her taking it from behind over my kitchen table to realize the problem wasn't me." I winced. "Sorry, that was blunt." He kissed my cheek.
"Mm, well, I understand your point. What did you do?" I frowned in concern.
"I moved out. I found this place, and burned the kitchen table before I left. I haven't heard from her since I threw her and the guy out. Him quite literally."
"So, you used brute strength on the guy she was cheating with?" I asked softly, running my hands up and down his bare chest. His stomach muscles flexed as I ran my fingertips over his abs. "Cause that's hot," I purred.
He rolled me over, looming over me and then leaning down to kiss me. "That's why Rose is so careful around you. She just wants to be sure."
I gripped his shoulders, levering up enough to kiss his jaw. The warm weight of his lower half over mine was inviting. "Can we be done talking about other women while in your bed?"
"Absolutely," he breathed. I arched towards him when he covered my nipple with his hot mouth. Moaning, I grabbed his hair and held his head to me. Those clever fingers found their way into the waistband of my jeans, and he stopped long enough to flip open the button, sliding the zipper down torturously slowly. He dragged his fingertips ever so gently across my heated skin as the zipper moved down. I lifted my hips to help him drag off my jeans. He touched me over my boy shorts, then slipped under them. "I love to watch you come, Bella. You're so hot," he breathed into my ear. I felt the familiar electricity building between us, and then it exploded as my orgasm took over. He stroked me gently until my shudders subsided, kissing me tenderly the whole time.
"Sleep, Bella," he whispered. I snuggled up next to him when he pulled me up to the pillows, trying to remember what I wanted from him. Oh, yeah. For him to whip his dick out. A yawn escaped when I opened my mouth to say something. He kissed my cheek, then started humming. I was out before he hit the second verse.
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