Perdition Chapter 12

Then

"Bella, honey, come have a seat. I'll get to that later." I heard my mom calling for me from the back yard, but I wanted to finish fixing the cabinet door for her. She'd made up a beautiful afternoon tea for us on the patio overlooking the lake. She even used her floral tray and broke out her best china tea set. She had little petit fours from the bakery down the beach; Mom never could bake worth a damn.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Making sure the screw was tight, I put her screwdriver back in the junk drawer and headed out the open patio doors. Her backyard was small, mostly because the sand crept in, but she had a garden planted along the house. I watched the lazy bobbing of the flower heads, identifying snapdragons and nasturtium among others in the haphazard order my mother had perfected. I made my way to the little round table with the umbrella that she had set to one side of the yard and kissed her cheek before sitting next to her.

"You're always so busy these days," she complained with an indulgent smile. "It makes me happy, but I miss you."

"How about we make plans to go to the outlet mall in two weeks. After I get these papers turned in, I won't feel so swamped at school." I used the honey dipper, watching the way it drizzled slowly off the end and disappeared into the dark liquid of my tea. I lifted the cup to my nose, inhaling the citrusy tones of bergamot before having a taste.

"I met somebody," Mom twittered, so exuberantly child-like. It was one of my favorite qualities of hers. She passed the cake plate before continuing, and I selected a tiny lavender cube. "He's so thoughtful, Bella. He's a gentleman, holding doors and offering his umbrella. Not just to share, either, but for me to use."

The smile on her face was contagious. "I'm happy for you, Mom. What's his name?"

"Phil. He runs the gardening center now, and I've found myself stopping by even when I don't need anything, just to chat!" She giggled, looking and sounding so young and vital.

"You'll have to bring me to meet him before we hit the mall," I suggested.

Her smile lit up her face.

Now

I realize now, as I sit here in Sue's kitchen waiting for Edward, that our afternoon tea was the last time my mother and I were together. We texted a time or two about our plans, but that was the last time I hugged her, the last time we chatted like girlfriends. I'd been so busy writing papers and studying, that I had not stopped by again. We'd talked about Charlie and the letter he'd sent, and agreed to ignore it, having no clue how dangerous his connections had become.

Sue had the idea to meet Edward at her house, since mine was lacking in the seating department. She used to live on the reservation until Black turned it into his personal playground for him and his idiot followers. Her house now, that she shares with her husband Harry, is a simple white stone cottage style with a small porch. She ushered me into the homey blue kitchen and offered me a drink, but for now we just sit and wait. Sue called Edward and asked him to leave Mallie with Esme and come to talk with her, and he'd agreed to come right over.

She didn't mention me, or what she wanted to talk to him about. I wasn't sure he would come if she had.

I hear the engine as a car pulls up, and the nerves working in my stomach triple. After rubbing my palms on my jeans, I grip the edge of the chair I'm in, waiting while Sue goes to the door. I hear their voices drift down the hall.

"Hello, Edward."

"Sue. I just saw you at the diner, is everything alright?"

"Sure, I just wanted to talk to you about some things."

There's a pause before their footsteps start clicking louder. My stomach clenches and I shoot to my feet, reluctant to be sitting and have to look up at him.

Edward stops short halfway around the wall that separates the kitchen from the rest of the house. He looks to me, then to Sue, confusion clearly on his face. "Bella? Sue, what's going on?"

"I'm going to give you two a minute, and then we're all going to talk." With that, Sue's dark head disappears around the corner.

Edward watches me as I shift from one foot to the other in a display of nerves. I need to speak up, but I don't know where to start. We've attempted this a couple of times now, and it's never quite gone the way I'd planned. I'm so damn nervous. "Edward, if there is any chance for us to move forward, and for you to forgive me, I need you to listen when I tell you everything. I'm also going to give you information that will hopefully help Emmett, and in turn help Sue with Seth and Leah."

His hands scrub through his hair, and I realize he's moved forward until he's close enough to touch. "First, I want you to know that I've been doing a lot of thinking since you came back. After everything I've pieced together so far, it seems you really had no choice. I need to forgive you for the past if I'm ever going to be happy again. I never…"

My breath catches as he moves toward me, closer and closer, finally engulfing me in his embrace. His scent washes over me, and it's such a memory overload of our time together. I bite back a sob as the feelings overwhelm me, and I wrap my arms around his head, burying my face into his neck. His arms engulf me around my waist, pulling me into his chest, and it's broader than I remember, but somehow feels the same. Like home. "You have no idea how much I've missed you," I choke out.

"I have a very good idea, Bella," he murmurs, hands stroking down my hair.

"I don't understand how you don't still hate me when I haven't told you everything that's happened."

"I've struggled with it since you returned, honestly." Edward holds me out at arm's length so he can look me in the eye. "I meant it when I said I would love you forever."

The tears I've been holding back fall, and he swipes them off my cheek with his thumbs. He gestures to the table, and we sit, Edward taking one of my hands in both of his. "You have every right to hate me. I said awful things, and I lied."

"And I did hate you. While you were away, it was easy to let those feelings take the forefront. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that you had to have reasons for all of it. Between you coming to me in the park and trying to come clean, to Ben swearing that Angela was right about you, I knew there was more to what was going on. And when I saw Charlie and Jacob Black treating you that way at your apartment that day, I figure the chief isn't as upfront as we all think."

"I have to tell you everything." I study his green eyes, the expression changed from the hard look he's had since I came back to town. They're sparkling again. "We deserve the chance to start over, for me to fix my mistakes and try to help you understand."

"I think I do understand, honestly. I think I've added up all the things I've seen and heard, and come up with the truth. Finally." His thumb strokes absently over my knuckles, and my hand tingles at his touch.

"Sue is involved, and she wants to talk to us as well. I agreed to help her, because it's what's best for the town and for the two of us."

"That's who you've always been Bella; you help those who need it, and give so much of yourself to others. I'm sorry I lost sight of that." Edward's tone is soft, and I feel the familiar yearning shoot through my limbs.

"I wondered for a very long time if we'd ever come to this point, where you'd forgive me and we'd move on. I didn't think it would happen," I confess.

"After we talk with Sue, we'll spend some time alone, just the two of us, okay?" His voice holds all the promise it once did, and I feel giddy.

I nod my head, unable to speak. He's giving me more than I ever thought I'd have again.