Alice and I were out to dinner at a lovely restaurant on the waterfront. We were relaxed, maybe a bit tipsy from the wine, and Alice's pretty little face was flushed. I was toying with the idea of what to do with her in the back of the cab on the way home when her eyes widened at something behind me.
"What is it, darlin'?" I asked her.
She kept her focus over my shoulder as she answered in a hiss. "The skank that screwed Edward over a few years ago."
"She's here?" I asked, glancing over my shoulder.
"Yes. She looks just as overly botoxed as usual." Alice was drumming her fingers on the table in an irritated rhythm.
"Do you want to go?" I asked, flagging down the waitress at her nod.
I laid my hand on her back as she walked slightly in front of me towards the door. We stopped short at the hostess stand when Alice's name was called. She slowly turned her head, then her entire body. I could feel how tense she'd become as I ran my hand up and down her back.
She waited until the woman reached us, silvery blonde hair pulled up on her head. Alice was right, she wore too much makeup, and her dress was too fancy for this restaurant.
"Alice," the woman cooed, air kissing both of Alice's cheeks. Alice stayed rigid by my side. "And who is this?" she purred, looking me up and down.
"My husband," Alice answered shortly.
"Wonderful!" She's too enthusiastic for my taste, looking at me with a weird expression, like she was hungry. Or maybe the look was desperation.
"I have nothing to say to you, Tanya," Alice said, and she sounded fierce to me. My fierce little Alice.
Tanya's eyebrow went up. "Come now, don't be so testy."
"I'd be down right rude, but we're in public," Alice retorted.
"Mary Alice, that's not a way to treat old friends," Tanya actually pouted.
"Tanya, is it?" I asked, and she turned her attention back to me.
"Yes, my dear. What can I do for you?" Ugh.
"You can stay the hell away from my wife. You almost ruined my best friend's marriage."
"How in the world could I have done that?" she scoffed.
"My best friend is married to Alice's brother. You remember Edward?" I could feel a headache brewing over this bitch.
"Yes, how is he doing these days?" she replied, her jaw gone tight.
"He's great now, not that I think you care at all."
"They're happily married, but it was touch and go for almost a year." Alice smiles broadly at the fact that they're doing so well now.
Tanya laughed, a loud, unattractive sound. "That's a riot. Edward got his rocks off, then couldn't stick it through, just like he did with me," Tanya sneered.
"Sure, that's how it happened," Alice said as she rolled her eyes.
"You seriously think I care what happens to Edward now? He didn't care when he kicked me out of his apartment. He didn't care when he cut off all communication with the one person to always be there for him!"
"You were the one there for him?" Alice screamed. I made a grab for her arm as she lunged toward Tanya. "He found you naked in his apartment, with some dude giving it to you on his kitchen table!"
"I would never hit a lady, but I just might make an exception for someone as unladylike as you," I snarled.
"That's not going to stop me," Alice yelled. Before I could stop her, she'd cold-cocked Tanya right in her jaw.
I couldn't describe the sound coming out of Tanya's reddened face if I tried, but let's say it was similar to a hawk moving in for the kill. Alice was flailing in my arms, like she'd be more than happy to go back at that skank.
"Ugh!" She stomped her foot. "I'm pressing charges, Mary Alice! You assaulted me, and I have witnesses!" The screeching sound was terrible.
"You so much as lay an acrylic fingernail on your cell phone, Tanya, and I'll tell Marcus you're fucking his son and his wife!" Alice returned. "You'd be surprised what your 'friends' share with me, Tanya. You might also be surprised at how much proof they have of the things you do and say."
Well, by now the entirety of the restaurant was staring at us, from the kitchen staff poking their heads around the doors to the patrons standing up from their seats.
"Alice, darlin', we should go." I urged her towards the door while Tanya stared dumbfounded at the both of us, her hand cradling her jaw and tears in her eyes.
As we stepped out into the cooler night air, I hailed a cab and then turned to my Alice. "Well, we can never come back to this place again."
She laughed. Her chest was heaving, her ire was up, but she laughed like it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard.
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