Sunday, June 25, 2017

Angry All The Time Chapter 40

One look at you, my whole life falls in line
I prayed for you, before I called you mine
I can't believe it's true sometimes
I can't believe it's true

The way you love, it changes who I am
I am undone and I thank God once again
I can't believe it's true sometimes
I can't believe it's true

They say love is a journey, I promise that I'll never leave
When it's too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me

I get to love you
I get to love you, it's the best thing that I'll ever do
I get to love you, it's a promise I'm making to you

Whatever may come, your heart I will choose
Forever I'm yours, forever I do
I get to love you

~Ruelle, I Get To Love You


Edward and I head to the obstetrician's office with Charlie to have my six week checkup. It's actually been a bit more than eight weeks, but that was the way the scheduling worked out. I know that most new parents are hoping for the green light to be intimate again, because they've been abstinent since their baby was born.

We've been sexless for almost a year. I feel so high and dry right now, that the highlight of my day is going to be dropping Charlie off with Alice later.

Edward stays in the waiting room while I see the doctor, and when I'm through, I head back out to find him and our daughter. He stands as I approach, and as he bends to pick up the car seat I feel a hand on my shoulder. Startled, I spin around.

"Jake!" There he stands, tall as ever, wearing a blazer of all things.

"How are you? I see you had the baby. Where is she? Where've you been?" he demands like
he deserves answers.

"With her husband," Edward responds as he walks up.

I can see the emotions on Jake's face are ranging from disbelief to anger. "Jake, this is Edward. Edward, Jake." It's a lame introduction, since neither one of them gives a fuck.

They stare each other down, and it's really what I expected would happen if we ever ran into Jacob. Edward's hands are fisted over the handle of the car seat, his forearms flexed, and he's standing as nose-to-nose as he can with a baby between them.

"We named her Charlie. After my dad, of course." I'm filling the uncomfortable silence with even more uncomfortable chatter. Neither man is going to speak, apparently. I turn to Edward. "Alice is expecting us," I say quietly to diffuse his anger. I need them both to know my family is my priority.

Edward glares at Jake for several more tense seconds, then he looks to me with a smooth, serene face. "You're right. Let's go see my sister. The doctor gave you the all-clear?"

Knowing what he's doing, and feeling that I owe his ego this, I lean up on my toes and whisper- loudly- into his ear.

"Absolutely, and I can't wait for tonight."

It's nothing if not the truth. We turn away from Jacob, and I feel like I'm turning the page on that chapter of my life. He was a friend when I needed one, but he was always hoping that I would fail in getting back together with my husband. I don't have room in my life for that type of relationship anymore.

I can't resist throwing a wave over my shoulder, my "Bye, Jake!" loud and cheerful.

Edward and I spend the rest of the afternoon with Alice and Jasper; the two of them share pictures from their somewhat delayed honeymoon. We make dinner together like we used to, and I love watching Jasper bounce my little girl, cooing and singing to her. He told me while I was in the hospital that he's moved on from his feelings of resentment over me never telling him I was pregnant, or seeing him while Edward and I were separated. It seemed to me that a clean break, however temporary, was what I needed at the time. He was the only friend I kept in touch with at first, and that counted for something. Even if he loved to tell me I was wrong.

Everything is falling back into place, even if those places are new. Our family is growing, and stronger than ever. I can't stop the gigantic, silly smile on my face as we finish up after dinner. Alice and Edward are smooching on Charlie's cheeks, determined to get a smile out of her. Jasper is telling them that she's too young for a real smile, and that maybe she'll throw up on one of them instead.

As we say goodbye, I have a thousand butterflies going to war in my belly. Anticipation has been building for almost a year, and getting stronger for the past couple of weeks. Two months worth of fooling around, making out, and feeling like freaking teenagers sneaking around because they know they aren't supposed to have sex.

I need the sex.

I know Edward is about to explode, literally, because we've kept everything above the waist since he moved back in.

"Auntie Alice has this, guys. Go on, get your freak on." The imp grins hugely at us.

"Jesus, Alice," Edward groans.

Jasper just laughs. "Go, Edward. Bella has missed you, and your attributes."

"Ha, ha, ribbing the celibate couple. Assholes, both of you," I laugh.

Edward is ten shades of red, and I push him out the door. Jasper closes it, Alice standing behind him with Charlie in her arms. I find myself pushed up against the wall next to the door, hands in my hair, erection pressed against my stomach.

"I'll definitely show you my attributes," he whispers dangerously low in my ear. I shiver and clench my thighs as his mouth skims along my throat, then over to my lips.

"Less talking, more driving home," I gasp over the pounding of my heart in my throat.

Grinning, Edward grabs my hand and we dash to the Volvo. The whole drive home, an entire twenty minutes, his hand is in my lap, making me squirm as he works his fingers into the zipper placket of my jeans.

Why the fuck didn't I wear a skirt? Oh, yeah, it's freezing outside.

"God's sake, Edward, I need you inside me. So badly." I cover his hand with mine, trying to force his fingers inside my pants.

He moans, and I whip my head to see him watching me, his eyes hooded and smoldering. The light changes, and he races away from the intersection. My face is overheated, and I scoot my butt forward to try to open the space between my pants and my body. Edward manages to slip a finger down to my clit, and I bite my lip, then cry out as the orgasm rushes over me. I sit there panting, and watch as he slides his finger out and then puts it in his mouth, his tongue coming out and swirling around the tip of his finger. I whimper, and he stops the car.

I'm out of my seatbelt and leaning over the console the second the car is in park. I crush my mouth to his, pulling his lips alternatively into my mouth, biting and sucking on the tender flesh. His hands mold to my ass, kneading and trying to pull me closer. The steering wheel is in the way of any more activity than that, so I break away from him.

"We have to go inside," I gasp unevenly. He nods his head and opens his door as I fall back into my seat, ignoring my purse in the floor and instead wrenching open the door. Edward is there, pressing me into the closed door, kissing me frantically. I open my eyes briefly, trying to gain my bearings, then blink rapidly.

"There's a car in the driveway," I say in dismay and disbelief.

"There's no way," he responds, still pressing open mouthed kisses to my neck. I grab his head and lift it, pointing behind him.


"We aren't expecting anybody." Denial is strong when you're as frenzied as we are.

"It's Eleazar's car, I think."

"Did you invite them over?"

"Why does that sound like an accusation?"

He leans very close to my face. "Because I am desperate to fuck you, Bella."

He's killing me. I squeeze my eyes and my legs closed. "Ungh," I groan.

We stand up straight and adjust our clothing, my hands smoothing down my hair. He turns, taking my hand in his and walking towards the top of the driveway and the other car. The doors open, and Carmen and Eleazar emerge, smiling.

We greet each other, heading for the front door because it's pretty cold. When we're seated in the living room, and everyone has a drink, Carmen speaks up.

"Where is the baby? We were hoping to see her." The pair of them visited in the hospital, but I'm sure they want more time with Charlie.

Edward drains his drink before answering. "We just left her at Alice's house after having dinner with them."

"Oh, that's too bad. Next time, then," Carmen says.

"Yes, we really wanted to congratulate the both of you again on the birth of your bebe linda, and to offer a gift," Eleazar says.

"Oh, a gift isn't necessary. I'll be bringing her to the library soon," I assure them.

Ignoring me, Eleazar pulls an envelope out of his coat pocket. "Carmen and I, as you may know, we were not able to have children of our own. We set up a fund through the library that awards scholarships to underprivileged children in Seattle." He hands me the envelope. Opening it, I see the certificate and gasp, handing it off to Edward.

"We wanted to do something meaningful. A symbol for you and your family." Carmen smiles at our astonished faces.

The certificate explains that the two of them have given a generous donation to the fund in the names 'Charlie and Renee Swan, Edward and Bella Cullen, and their daughter Charlie Cullen'. It is a lovely gesture, and something that will give a teenager working towards college some amazing help.

"The scholarships are awarded at the end of the school year, and we would love for you to attend the ceremony." Carmen has tears in her eyes.

"Absolutely, Carmen," I answer and get up, hugging her. "Thank you for always being there for us, and lending me an ear on plenty of occasions."

"Of course, sweetie. That's what friends are for. The doors are always open, whenever you are ready to come back, and for any hours you're willing to volunteer." I nod, tearing up too.

Eleazar stands and hugs me, as well. "I'm happy you and tu marido have worked things out, Chabela."

"So are we, El. Very happy." I smile over at Edward, and he comes to join me in walking the two of them to the door.

As it closes behind them, he locks it, studying me. "I'll race you up the stairs," he says, flashing a grin. I laugh, taking off.

He stays behind me as I thunder up the stairs, but when we hit the landing, he grabs me up at the waist, spinning me around and lifting me to meet his height. He kisses me repeatedly as he carries me down the hall, then drops one more kiss to my nose before dumping me on the bed.

He drops down next to me, running his hands through my hair.

"I prayed that someone would come along that loved me and accepted me for who I am. I prayed for you, without knowing your name or your face. And fate placed me at your feet that day, the best day of my life."

His words and his touch overflow my healed heart, and I know that I could never ask for more than this man, who was made for me. "I'm so lucky to have the chance to love you for the rest of our lives," I reply.

The desire and lust is at a simmer, but flares higher as Edward yanks his shirt off and tosses it away. I sit up and remove my own shirt, then unclasp my bra and toss it too. His hands on my torso create a flash of heat, and his fingers splay up to cup my breasts, bringing them to his mouth. He licks and sucks, rolling my nipples in his long pianist's fingers as I drop my head back, reveling in the fire we create together.

When I'm a panting mess, Edward moves to my pants, unbuttoning and unzipping, each sound and movement echoing in my brain as I inch closer to my goal. I help him shimmy my jeans down my hips and legs, and he pauses to press his mouth to my damp panties.

"God!" I choke out, and writhe as he slips my panties down too, discarding all of my clothing until I'm naked. He pulls my legs until I'm at the edge of the bed, and he gets down on the floor on his knees, burying his face in between my legs. Gasping, crying out, I find my release quickly as he licks me like a cat with a bowl of cream.

When I hear his zipper, I open my eyes and sit up to see him standing by the bed, staring down at me hungrily. His cock, which I have missed greatly, stands tall and strong, and I reach out. Edward stops me with a hand on mine.

"Baby," he whispers, then clears his throat. "If I let you touch me now, it'll be over with before I make it inside you. And I really need to be inside you."

Smiling in understanding, I gesture for him to 'come here', and he covers my body with his. He takes a deep breath, kissing my lips tenderly, and I grasp his ass to encourage him. He presses his cock against my entrance, and I whimper, knowing that I'm finally about to have all that I've been waiting for.

Edward looks directly in my eyes as he slowly and gently thrusts inside me, and I feel tears prick my eyes as he and I are finally one again. "Right where you belong, love. You're right where you belong," I chant as he sets a rhythm meant to be slow, but he can't help but move faster as he comes closer to his release.

"Fuck, Bella, I love you so much," he growls as he empties inside me, and it feels like redemption.

We lay together for several minutes, stroking arms and backs, lingering on certain spots. It doesn't take very long for Edward to be hard again, pressing against my side. He rolls his hips, and I move closer to him, lining my body up alongside his. He kisses me, starting at my throat and moving down my body as he talks.

"I have this desire for you. . .to consume every inch of your body. . .to have the feel of your breath against my lips. . .the taste of you everywhere. Your voice as you call out my name, courses through all the veins in my body."

Whimpering, writhing, I find his dick with my hands, caressing and stroking, making him groan and breathe heavily. This indescribable need is pulsing through me again, and I feel strong knowing I can bring this grown man to his knees. Fires erupt at his kisses, until my body is an inferno of lust. I sit up, pushing him down onto his back.

I crawl up his body, letting my nipples brush against him as I go. My tongue finds and marks sensitive spots, and I smile when I reach the tip of his cock and his hips buck. I swirl my tongue over the head, teasing. My destination is further up, so I continue my slow movements until he is the one whimpering. Finally, I straddle his hips, leaning forward and trapping his cock between us.

"I dreamed of you, of being on top of you, riding you. . ." I whisper in his ear, nipping at the skin of his neck, licking his collarbone. His hands are on my ass, and he's trying to encourage me to take him in, but I'm not quite done torturing him. My hair forms a curtain as I kiss all over his chest, lingering over his heart.

"I will always trust in you, in us. Always." I lift up, and he grips my hips, guiding me down until he is completely engulfed by my wet, hot core.

"I love you, Isabella," he says, looking directly into my eyes. I smile, and I keep my eyes on him as I undulate, arching my back and running my hands through my hair. My pace quickens with no coherent thought as I near my summit, and Edward doesn't hesitate to help me out with his long fingers. There's a brief second where the feeling is almost painful, waiting to break through the last sweet burst of heat before I'm falling over the edge, my body shuddering as I collapse over him.

Edward wastes no time rolling me onto my stomach, pulling my hips up and back, and slamming in balls deep. I love it when he isn't afraid he'll hurt me, and goes for what he wants. And I have to admit, it's been so long that I don't care what position we're in, as long as we're in one together.

His hand is racing up and down my back, and I know he's almost out of control. I push up on my arms and throw him a look over my shoulder. He grins, reaching around and grabbing my boob. He's moving like a piston, now, and he won't last much longer, if his sounds are any indication.

"I love you, Edward. Come inside me, I need to feel it."

He groans, then shouts my name as his body stills. He drapes over my back for several seconds before getting up, helping me to stand with him. He kisses me, slowly and lovingly.


I find my mind going in a million directions as I drift off to sleep.

I had to crawl through hell to get Edward back, but I know without a flicker of doubt that we aren't going anywhere now. Everything has fallen into place, and I have the perfectly imperfect marriage and life I was striving for all along.

And that's perfectly fine with me.

Spanish translations:

Bebe linda- beautiful baby

Tu marido- your husband

Chabela- nickname for Isabella

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